Mother's day (or father's day) - but nothing before or after

[Heba E. Husseyn]

I suppose Saturday, May 11 was "mother's day" in North America ... probably also in Europe.  The celebrations were widespread with gifts & greetings; folks visiting their moms for lunch / dinner with pizzas and cakes.  Those who's mothers reside in nursing homes wait eagerly for their children and grandchildren to arrive.  They're not bothered about gifts or food.  They just want to be with their loved ones for a while, talk to them and hold their hands.  They're starved for company, not food.

Then, there's also "father's day" observed once a year with similar zest.

Probably it's a culture thing.  Family values in the West are so hugely different.  Unlike in the East as in our society, parenthood in the West is of a very short duration.  Children are considered grown-up and independent at age 18, sometimes earlier.  Soon after completion of high school, most of them are expected to leave home and fend for themselves.  Parents feel that their responsibilty is now over.  Thus, they part ways.  Gradually these two separate paths get wider as the children grow older and build a career attending evening classes and financing themselves through doing odd jobs in the mornings or afternoons.  Then they're married, have kids, buy a home ----- and life gets to tough and tight that mother's day / father's day and Christmas are the only times during the year when they can look forward to a brief re-union. 

Being so accustomed to my close-knit family values of the East, the mother's day (or father's day) celebration actually cuts a sad picture in my mind.  I think to myself ---- how would it be if I kept just one day in a year to shower my parents with affection and thus labelled it at "mother's day" or "father's day."  No way, not just one day.  But every day of my life is for my mother and father.  Parents are one of the finest gifts from Allah Almighty.  Our relationship with our parents is the only worldly bond that's unconditional.  We are not to fix a single day of a year to be close to them, even if that's symbolic.  Parents are a part of us and we're a part of them.  They got to be our first priority.  Careers come and go, but parents come just once and when gone, can never be replaced.  Spouses, offspring, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends can be  -- one, two, three, four and so on.  But parents are just one of each --a mother and a father.  We are not to dump them in nursing homes when they grow old.  We are to keep them close to us, love them and take care of their needs still more. 

May the finest blessings of Allah be showered on our parents every day of their lives, InshAllah, ameen.
 

[shahidah]

    Hi, mothers day in UK is in march this year it fell on 2 march the 4th sunday in lent.

       I did make mothers day cards with children in my class but i put some islamic quotes in the cards, about respect and love for your mother.  I always feel in two ways,  such as should I make them as its not in our faith to celebrate christian festivals.   

I also feel like this about some fairy tales such as 3 little pigs, should I be reading this story to 3 - 5 year olds or not?   my school has 99% muslim children but we are a state school not an islamic one.

what do you think i appreciate your opinion

[Ruhi_Rose]

    Hi, mothers day in UK is in march this year it fell on 2 march the 4th sunday in lent.

       I did make mothers day cards with children in my class but i put some islamic quotes in the cards, about respect and love for your mother.  I always feel in two ways,  such as should I make them as its not in our faith to celebrate christian festivals.   

I also feel like this about some fairy tales such as 3 little pigs, should I be reading this story to 3 - 5 year olds or not?   my school has 99% muslim children but we are a state school not an islamic one.

what do you think i appreciate your opinion

Salams and hi sister shahidah.  I understand your concern which is natural.  Basically all western celebrations, including christmas, have pagan roots.  The original christian faith that was a very monotheistic faith (same as Islam preceding it) has been altered by the christian sects.  But the other side is, in most western societies, all such celebrations are not looked upon as religious issues at all.  That's because the west has now become so secular.  These celebrations are simply a social event with fun, food and get-togethers.  You did very well by putting Islamic quotes in cards.  Two or three years ago I heard a brief lecture by a Muslim scholar on mother's day.  He didn't say that Muslims living in the west should ignore it.  He only said that on such a day (also father's day), we should explain the occasion to our kids in a way that's more in keeping with our Islamic culture ....  that this is a day for doing something extra-ordinary for their moms and dads e.g getting a little gift for them or cooking something special or simply telling mom to relax and do her household chores for her.  At the same time we should also explain to our children that our close relationship with our parents and love for them is a permanent thing.  It doesn't come and go with mother's or father's day. 

As for reading those stories, frankly I don't think there's anything wrong.  I think it's only important to make sure while we read stories that there's no mention of pigs being used as food e.g. reading a story in which there's a family reunion and they sit at the dinner table eating pork or ham.  You know what I mean?   Such kinda things should not be read to Muslim children as they may acquire the idea that eating pork or ham is normal for Muslims.  But just reading pigs' stories like '3 little pigs' etc. is ok.  After all, in the Quran, we are prohibited only from using pigs as food.  Almighty Allah does not say that pigs are evil as animals or anything like that.  Pigs are animals just like other animals which we are NOT to eat.  That's all.  The reason why Allah tells us not to use pigs as food is because in preIslamic days, the Arabs in that region ate pigs.  It was very common practice.  So, Allah stopped this. 

Related post:
- Why Islam forbids pork
- Pork: A National Health Hazard

Take care sis.  Salam

[shahidah]

    Thank you, you made it clear to me,
amongst life and stress its hard to think straight sometimes, so its good to have someone to share a concern with.. 
 
       

take care, I hope you and your family are well

Salaam
Shahidah