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A collection of Hadith shockers


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Author Topic: A collection of Hadith shockers  (Read 9838 times)
Heba E. Husseyn
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« on: November 06, 2010, 06:23:52 am »



Some are funny, some absurd and all are a pile of rubbish!   Why must our traditionalists indulge in such nonsense?  All pious and well-read practicing Muslims I've talked to, several of them who follow the hadith, were all shocked and denied ever knowing that such ahadith existed.
 

But let me say two things at the start. 

First, these are NOT the words of our most beloved Prophet (may peace and blessings of Allah Almighty be on him).  The Final Messenger was a man of exemplary character, intelligent and truly righteous.  He NEVER indulged in such talks.

Second, I have found these bad ahadith in many non-Muslim sites and the people out there having a good laugh at them.  These readers really think that such talks are from our Prophet (pbuh).  Those clowns who think as such are just as stupid and moronic as these ahadith.  Addressing those non-Muslim idiots:  THESE ARE FORGERIES BY LATER TIME LIARS WHO WERE THE NEW HALF-HEARTED CONVERTS TO ISLAM AND WHO CONVERTED FROM IDOLATRY, ZOROASTRIANISM, CHRISTIANITY OR JUDAISM FOR PERSONAL OR POLITICAL BENEFITS.  THE FOLLOWING ARE NOT THE WORDS OF THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD (PBUH).  THE PROPHET DID NOT EVEN ALLOW ANYONE TO WRITE HIS SPEECHES OR CONVERSATIONS.  IT WAS HIS STANDING ORDER THAT NOTHING TO BE IN WRITING EXCEPT THE QURAN.


Now start reading the small bunch of ahadith which I've taken from a very large bundle.  And what makes it absolutely amazing is that these have all been passed as "sahih" by our jurists otherwise they shouldn't be in the collection viewed as "sahih."

Babies cry at birth because Satan touches them?Narrated by Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “When any human being is born Satan touches him at both sides of the body with his two fingers, except Jesus, the son of Mary, whom Satan tried to touch but failed, for he touched the placenta-cover instead.”   Bukhari - Volume 4, Book 54, Number 506:
 
Birth marks are caused by the evil eye?Narrated Um Salama: that the Prophet saw in her house a girl whose face had a black spot. He said. "She is under the effect of an evil eye; so treat her with a Ruqya."  Bukhari - Volume 7, Book 71, Number 635:
 
Yawning is from Satan and he laughs when you yawn?“Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "Yawning is from Satan and if anyone of you yawns, he should check his yawning as much as possible, for if anyone of you (during the act of yawning) should say: 'Ha', Satan will laugh at him."  Bukhari - Volume 4, Book 54, Number 509:

Satan sleeps in your nose at night?
Abu Huraira reported: The Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him) said. When any one of you awakes up from sleep and performs ablution, he must clean his nose three times, for the devil spends the night in the interior of his nose.  Bukhari - Book 002, Number 0462:
 
Oversleeping is caused by Satan pissing in your ear?Narrated 'Abdullah : A person was mentioned before the Prophet (p.b.u.h) and he was told that he had kept on sleeping till morning and had not got up for the prayer. The Prophet said, "Satan urinated in his ears."
Bukhari - Volume 2, Book 21, Number 245:
 
Satan farts?
“Sahih” Al-Bukhari Volume 1. Hadith #582
Narrated by Abu Huraira:  Allah’s Apostle said, “When the Adhan is pronounced Satan takes to his heels and passes wind with noise during his flight in order not to hear the Adhan.
 
Camel urine as medicine?
Narrated Anas: The climate of Medina did not suit some people, so the Prophet ordered them to follow his shepherd, i.e. his camels, and drink their milk and urine (as a medicine).  Bukhari - Volume 7, Book 71, Number 590

Black cumin cures all diseases?
Hold onto the use of the black seeds for in it is healing for all diseases except death
Bukhari - Volume 7, Book 71, Number 592:
 
The wing of a housefly can cure disease?
Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said "If a house fly falls in the drink of anyone of you, he should dip it (in the drink), for one of its wings has a disease and the other has the cure for the disease." Bukhari - Volume 4, Book 54, Number 537:
 
Eating 7 dates can cure poison?Narrated Saad: Allah's Apostle said, "He who eats seven 'Ajwa dates every morning, will not be affected by poison or magic on the day he eats them."   Bukhari - Volume 7, Book 65, Number 356:
 
Monkeys stone each other for adultery?Narrated 'Amr bin Maimun: During the pre-lslamic period of ignorance I saw a she-monkey surrounded by a number of monkeys. They were all stoning it, because it had committed illegal sexual intercourse. I too, stoned it along with them.  Bukhari - Volume 5, Book 58, Number 188:

Black dogs are devils?
Abu Dharr reported: The Messenger of 'Allah (may peace be upon him) said: When any one of you stands for prayer and there is a thing before him equal to the back of the saddle that covers him and in case there is not before him (a thing) equal to the back of the saddle, his prayer would be cut off by (passing of an) ass, woman, and black Dog. I said: O Abu Dharr, what feature is there in a black dog which distinguish it from the red dog and the yellow dog? He said: O, son of my brother, I asked the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) as you are asking me, and he said: The black dog is a devil.   Bukhari - Book 004, Number 1032:

Imagine how many unsuspecting people must have been misguided by these forgeries.  Our imams and "scholars" are seriously requested to trash this pack of humbug otherwise they will end up very guilty on the Day of Judgment for lying against the beloved Prophet (pbuh) and distorting the very beautiful Faith of Islam as contained within the most Noble Quran.  Allah, The Almighty, will question them about these falsehoods (baatil) which they are carefully preserving in the name of "Islam" by falsely using the name of the Final Messenger (pbuh) and they will find no excuses to defend themselves from Allah.


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Zeynab
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« Reply #1 on: November 07, 2010, 12:52:47 am »



Thank you dear sister .. and I say this loud and clear!  Unfortunately some (not all) of our jurists have betrayed our beautiful Faith, much to the amusement of our enemies. 

I'm glad you have made it clear that these are forgeries by cheats and spiritual vandals penned for their own advantage.  The fact that large segments of the naive faithfuls are blindly holding on to it with no questions asked, is yet another tragedy.  Indeed those who collected it, those who further edited it and those who follow it - they will have to answer plenty of questions to Allah. 

Anyhow, I'm glad Allah Almighty has given some of us the insight to reject all these dangerous interpolations and hold fast to the Glorious Quran alone. 

My humble advise to them would be to start preparing their answers which is a lot more vital for them than their blind adherence to these forgeries.


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Ruhi_Rose
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« Reply #2 on: November 07, 2010, 08:41:04 am »



🥵   The sort of stuff that would turn a sincere Muslim furious with rage and tears!

Such narrations first of all insult the Nole Quran, then they insult the beloved Prophet (pbuh) and finally they insult the intelligence of readers.  I'm still wondering who could be that big a shit-rolling goof to even consider for a minute that the Prophet (pbuh) could say any of these things.  
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« Reply #3 on: November 07, 2010, 09:11:55 am »



Adding a few more from the same so-called "Sahih" only to alert the naive ones.

Satan enters your mouth when you yawn:
Sahih Moslem, Book 42, Number 7130:
"The son of Abu Said al-Khudri reported on the authority of his father that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: When one of you yawns, he should keep his mouth shut with the help of his hand, for it is the devil that enters therein."

First Abu Huraira says that Satan sleeps inside your nose.  Then he says Satan sleeps at the back of your throat.  It seems that the human body is like a 5-star hotel for bloody Satan.  What we know for certain is that Satan spent all his time inside Abu Huraira's nafs.

Satan sleeps in the back of your throat
Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Moslem:
Abu Hurayra said the prophet said:
"When someone wakes up from sleep, he/she should clean his/her nasopharynx (back of the throat), (by taking the water in the mouth, gurgle with it and bringing it through the nose) three times, because Satan spends the night in the nasopharynx (back of the throat).

Satan, the bugger, is a left-hander:
Sunan Abu Dawud, Book 27, Number 3768:
Umar Ibn Abu-Salamah said, the messenger of God said; "If any of you eat, you should eat with your right hand, and drink with the right hand, because Satan eats and drinks with his left hand.

Make your bedroom a spitting room:
Sahih Bukhari, Volume 4, Book 54, Number 513:
Abu Qatada said the prophet said: "The good dream is from God and the bad dream is from Satan. If one of you has a bad dream, you should spit on your left side and seek refuge in God from Satan."

Spit under your left foot:
Sahih Bukhari, Volume 2, Book 22, Number 305:
Narrated Anas: The Prophet said, "Whenever anyone of you is in prayer, he is speaking in private to his Lord and so he should neither spit in front of him nor on his right side but to his left side under his left foot."

No more comments, just tears  😥


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Heba E. Husseyn
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« Reply #4 on: November 08, 2010, 07:06:10 pm »



Thanks for the addition dear sis.   All this is that it's really making my anger hormones shoot up at these Hadithers  and the non-Muslim Islamophobes thinking that such words are "authentic." 

Even if the lunatic Hadithers refuse to dump the Hadith institution, they should at least make a list of these horribly offensive and disgraceful ones and put them into the shredding machine right away - no further questions asked!
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« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2010, 03:06:56 am »



Can't say how much I agree with you, sis
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« Reply #6 on: December 07, 2019, 04:32:14 am »

 


This is really top-notch comedy-shocker!   🤭   When will these folks begin fearing Allah The Almighty?
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Heba E. Husseyn
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« Reply #7 on: December 09, 2019, 11:20:10 pm »



And do not say about what your tongues assert of untruth, "This is lawful and this is unlawful," to invent falsehood about Allah. Indeed, those who invent falsehood about Allah will not succeed.  (16:116 Noble Quran).

Anyone with a shred of insight would agree that every Hadithist must read the above Verse and think of their plight in the Hereafter when they stand before Allah Almighty on the Day of Questioning.




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« Reply #8 on: December 09, 2019, 11:24:44 pm »



So correctly quoted Sister.   This Verse is a warning, loud and clear, for all those falsifiers who have distorted our great Faith.   
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