"Obedient wives club" in Malaysia

[Ruhi_Rose]

OMG!  How much the Ummah has deviated.  Such an interpretation of marriage is NOT what the Noble Quran teaches us.


RAWANG, Malaysia (AP) — As a new bride, 22-year-old Ummu Atirah believes she knows the secret to a blissful marriage: obey her husband and ensure he is sexually satisfied.

Ummu and some 800 other Muslim women in Malaysia are members of the Obedient Wives Club that is generating controversy in one of the most modern and progressive Muslim-majority nations, where many Muslim Malaysian women hold high posts in the government and corporate world.

The new club, launched Saturday, says it can cure social ills such as prostitution and divorce by teaching women to be submissive and keep their men happy in the bedroom.

"Islam compels us to be obedient to our husband. Whatever he says, I must follow. It is a sin if I don't obey and make him happy," said Ummu, who wore a yellow headscarf.

The club, founded by a fringe Islamic group known as Global Ikhwan, has been dismissed by politicians and activists as a throwback to medieval times and an insult to modern women of Malaysia. But the group's activities, which previously included the setting up of a Polygamy Club, show that pockets of conservative Islamic ideas still thrive in Malaysia.

Groups such as Global Ikhwan are unlikely to gain much popularity beyond generating shock value. Still, there is concern that radical groups could garner support among other Muslims, who make up 60 per cent of the 28 million population, and upset decades of carefully nurtured racial and religious harmony.

"Unfortunately even today, there are still many Muslim women who are ignorant of their rights or culturally inhibited to exercise their rights in full," said Shahrizat Abdul Jalil, a female Muslim minister in charge of family policy.

Despite the group's conservative Islamic background, Rohayah Mohamad, one of the founders of the club, openly talks about the virtues of marital sex even though most of her colleagues are shy about the topic.

"Sex is a taboo in Asian society. We have ignored it in our marriages but it's all down to sex. A good wife is a good sex worker to her husband. What is wrong with being a whore ... to your husband?" she said.

"This way, the family institution is protected and we can curb social ills," said Rohayah, the club's vice president who is also a trained physician.

She said wives must go beyond the traditional roles as good cooks or good mothers and learn to "obey, serve and entertain" their husbands to prevent them from straying or misbehaving.

Indirectly, "disobedient wives are the cause for upheaval in this world" because men are not happy at home and their minds and souls are disturbed, she said.

Authorities recently said Malaysia's divorce rate has doubled from 2002 to 2009 with higher rates among Malay Muslims.

"When husbands come home, wives do not welcome their husbands with warm alluring smiles and sexy dressing ... That is the reality today," she said.

The Global Ikhwan group is an offshoot of former members of the Al-Arqam sect outlawed in 1994 after its teachings were found to have deviated from Islam. It is funded by the group's restaurants, grocery stores, poultry and other businesses abroad.

Most of the 800 women who are members of the new club, including Ummu the new bride, also belong to Al-Arqam.

Expectedly, the club has faced intense criticism.

Some Malaysians started a Facebook page called "We do not want sexist nonsense from Global Ikhwan".

One Muslim man, Amirul Aftar, wrote: "I do not want a wife to submit to my every beck and call. I want a wife who understands me ... we are not your masters, we are your equal."

Women's group, Sisters in Islam, said Islam advocates marriages based on mutual cooperation and respect. It said domestic violence happens regardless of women's behaviour.

"Communication, not submission, is vital to sustain any healthy relationship," it said.

Source: http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/magazines/allwoman/-p-Learn-to-obey--serve-and-sexually-satisfy-your-husband--p---_8969611

[patricia]

Well, this is certainly an interesting topic.

I am still confused about what Quran says about sex and if the angels curse us women who do not have sex with our husbands?

Can we discuss this?

I have had a suspicion that Quran is clear not to touch the women unless she agrees. 


And do  all/any of you  speak arabic? And understand the arabic Quran?

Let me add I have been told many times that Quran also states women are superior to men. However, no one has been able to say exactly what area the women are superior to men.

[Zainab_M]

I read this article a few days ago, was forwarded thru email by my cousin.  u r right sister Rose, it's a huge deviation from the Glorious Quran.  

This article is not just about looking upon women as slaves of their spouses but literally making them sex slaves of their husbands.  

However, one thing about this story makes it unusual or so it seems.  The "obedient wives group" is apparently the brainchild of the women who have gotten together to form it.  If they personally feel comfortable with this misconception, then I guess we are no one to tell them to think otherwise.  After all, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  However, they must NOT portray it as a "Quranic law" because it surely isn't.

@ Sister Patricia .. there is no such thing at all in the Quran about angels cursing women who refuse sex with their husbands.  There's absolutely no concept of forcing wives into physical intimacy against their will.  In the 7th century when slavery was rampant all over the world and masters really treated their slaves badly, like a piece of property than a human being, the Quran disallowed men even to force their slave women into sex against their will.

"Force not your slave-girls to whoredom that ye may seek enjoyment of the life of the world, if they would preserve their chastity.  And if one force them, then (unto them), after their compulsion, lo! Allah will be Forgiving, Merciful."  (24:33)

The above verse highlights the rule not to forcibly compel a slave girl into sex, and if that did happen, she would not be at fault at all.  The transgressor would be the man.  When such a Quranic rule exists for protecting female slaves and exonerating them from all sins in case of rape, there's NO question of allowing husbands to force their wives (who are free women) to have sex.

Anyone who has read the Quran carefully will observe that the Quran makes absolutley no distinctions between men and women, female parents and male parents, or female siblings or male siblings.  And that's the way it should be.  Favoring any gender more than the other would be injustice and discrimination.  After all both genders are human beings, and thus neither of the two are perfect.  They both need guidance, laws and rules to keep them on line otherwise both have a tendency of getting out of hand.  Hence, we see in many so-called Muslim countries where they have abandoned the Glorious Quran in preference of the man-made Shariah, the law is mostly on the husband's side and rights of the wives are much neglected.  In the West it's the opposite where in most cases the law is on the side of the wives.  A careful application of Quranic rules would help to maintain a balance in both societies with a return to civilization.    The Quran discourages both men and women to pressure each other .. something which is inherent of human nature (whether man or woman), the privileged one harassing or dominting the one who is less privileged.  The Quran is always on the side of the helpless or oppressed, regardless of gender.  

[Zainab_M]

One more point I would like to mention.  The Quranic expression "men are a degree above women" is much misunderstood by some.  This expression does NOT refer to gender superiority.   In this regard I quote the contents of our post The expression "men are a degree above women" to explain it.

QUOTE:
As very intelligently elucidated by Br. Steve Rockwell, student of the late & enlightened, Sheik Ahmed Deedat, is a very important clarification.  This expression is widely misunderstood by many non-Muslims and also Muslims with scant understanding of the Glorious Quraan.

The expression "men are a degree above women" that often occurs in the Glorious Quraan does NOT refer to gender superiority, but it refers being burdened with greater financial responsibility.  As per the dictates of the Quraan, men are entirely responsible for supporting women financially while women are not obligated to make any finacial contributions .. unless she desires to do so of her own free will.   Even if the woman has her own source of income, her claim to her husband's income being hers as well remains intact.  Thus, when a Muslim woman is married, she can safely say to her husband, "what I have is mine, and what you have is also mine."  Therefore, the financial responsibility of men are above women.
UNQUOTE

[Heba E. Husseyn]

Very correctly stated sister Zeynab.  This is what I call a truly balanced perception based on equality and justice.