Message #11103

[Zainab_M]

Let's look at polygamy not simply as a practice involving the existence of co-wives, but from a more objective view point, that is, a man having relations with more than one woman at a time.  Is this not happening in the West?  In the West men are legally allowed to marry one woman at a time, but a married man in the West can have relationships without any binding documents with as many women he desires - sometimes behind his wife's back and sometimes right under her nose - and that's not considered against the law at all.  A wife who might know for certain that her husband is cheating on her by having a relationship with another woman can do nothing legally to punish her husband.  She cannot take him to court nor can she bring any charges of infidelity against him .. unless she manipulates the story and brings false allegations of physical abuse or financial mishandling against her husband.  But if she goes to court and says "my husband is fooling around with another woman and I feel debased, so please punish him" .. that plea will be thrown out of the court.   Thus Pickthall in one of his commentaries mentions "polygamy is of the nature of some men in all countries and of all men in some countries."  

Right on .. absolutely.  Polygamy as an institution of having multiple partners out of wedlock in the case of both men and women, but more so with men, is so darn rampant in the West and conveniently considered the 'advanced modern culture.'  If a spouse cheats on their wife or husband, the one cheated is totally helpless as having multiple partners out of wedlock is not illegal for a married man or married woman.  Yet these same people gossip if a man legally marries 2 or 3 women and seriously loves and provides for them, giving them full financial security legally.  You will commonly read in gossip magazines of Hollywood stars proudly asserting their rezondevous with no less than 15 to 20 women during the last one decade .. living on average of 12 - 15 months with each.  Yet, such degraded debauchery and sexual perversity are so complacently accepted as a matter of fact.   So, who on earth are such folks to point critical fingers at a man if he marries 2 or 3 or at most 4 women legally and permanently?  

"Sanctity has never been identified with celibacy. For Christiandom the strictest religious ideal has been celibacy, monogamy a concession to human nature.  For Muslims, monogamy is the ideal, polygamy the concession to human nature.  Polygamy is of the nature of some men in all countries and of all men in some countries.  Having set a great example of monogamic marriage, the Prophet was to set a great example of polygamic marriage by following which men of that temperament could live righteous lives.  It's important to highlight that with the exception of Aisha, all his other wives were either widows or divorcees who social conditions were difficult in one way or another.  He encountered all the difficulties inherent in the situation, and when he made mistakes the Quran helped him to retrieve them.  Al-Islam did not introduce polygamy.  It restricted an existing institution by limiting the number of a man's legal wives, by giving every woman a legal personality and legal rights which had to be respected, and making every man legally responsible for his conduct towards every woman.  Whether monogamy or polygamy should prevail in a particular country or period is a matter of social or economic convenience."

This is a very realistic piece!