Wishing for one's own death

[Zainab_M]

 


While chatting with a cousin recently, she asked:  "One thing that at times puzzles me is that though we do make duas for going to Paradise we are afraid of dying and told not to pray for death. How will we attain Paradise if not thru death?  So what is the harm in wanting to die?"

Absolutely right.  I think the same.  The idea of not thinking or wishing for our death actually comes from not being ready for it.  Also, those false ideas that have crept into Hadith books from altered Christianity on suicide being Haram make many Muslims think one shouldn't wish for their own death.  But this concept is totally wrong as clarified in the Noble Quran itself.   I quote Verses 94 to 96 of Surah Al-Baqra, Chapter 2.  The Verses are about the Jews of the era whose intrigues and foul play made them a nuisance .. no different from today.  But the reason why I'm quoting these Verses is because the Verses refer to exactly the same concept we believe to be correct in this discussion, that there is nothing wrong in wishing for one's own death.  A conscientious person will always be ready to face it and never shrink from it.   

"Say (unto them): If the abode of the Hereafter in the providence of Allah is indeed for you alone and not for others of mankind (as ye pretend), then long for death (for ye must long for death) if ye are truthful. (2:94)

But they will never long for it, because of that which their own hands have sent before them. Allah is aware of evil-doers. (2:95)

And thou wilt find them greediest of mankind for life and (greedier) than the idolaters. (Each) one of them would like to be allowed to live a thousand years. And to live (a thousand years) would be no means remove him from the doom. Allah is Seer of what they do."  (2:96)

Of course, this should not be mixed up with personal sentiments of, for example, losing a close family member or close friend.  In all such cases our grief is basically for our own loss, the fact that we will have to do without them until we meet, InshAllah.  Or, if the departed soul did not lead their lives in accordance with the laws of Allah's Final Message, then our grief would be for their sheer loss in the permanent world where they've gone to.   Or, the grief of a person close to death because of the thought of temporary separation from their loved ones is also a different matter.  These matters are linked to personal emotions which are natural in all living beings without affecting the strength of their Faith and the willing acceptance of the Ultimate Truth.

[Heba E. Husseyn]

That's a very good question followed by wonderfully accurate thoughts as you expressed. 

I've so often pondered on Verses 2:94-96.  They are addressed to the Jews of Medina regarding their treachery and mischief-mongering.  But these Verses cover still further.  I would think that they cover 2 basic aspects:  First, a Monotheistic (Tawheed) believer with good conduct will be ready for death and neither will they find the thought of their death depressive.  Second, the idea of avoiding the thought of one's own death or not wishing for it basically comes from the Hadith as you rightly suggested.  The Hadith got it from altered Bibles.  And to support it among Muslims, the so-called ulemas twisted and misinterpreted Verse 4:29 in their translations as explained in our detailed post Does the Quran forbid suicide?

[N. Truth Seeker]

MashAllah, yes .. a very good question with a much needed clarification.  I hardly find any Muslim talking about Verses 2:94-96.  The Message contained here is so vital yet they ignore it.

I also appreciate your adding the last paragraph.  Not being afraid of death oneself should not be confused with others caring for you and not wanting your death.  These are 2 very separate issues.  It's incumbent for us to care for the lives of others and the Quran has confirms.  In fact Verse 4:29, the translation of which has been misinterpreted by the so-called scholars, is a command to forbid the killing of others.  To mourn and lament the death of our loved ones is both natural and a positive sign.  And as you correctly clarified, the grief here is for our own loss.  However, mourning and grieving must also be done in the Halal way.

[Ruhi_Rose]

Interesting one sis!  I liked this.   A happy person with a strong iman would not be afraid of death but might not wish for it to come soon.  An unhappy person with a strong iman would not be afraid of death either but might want it to come soon.  That's as far as one's own feelings for one's own life is concerned.  And every person with a strong iman with care to the fullest for someone else's life and always try to save them even if they don't care for their lives.

[Zainab_M]

Interesting one sis!  I liked this.   A happy person with a strong iman would not be afraid of death but might not wish for it to come soon.  An unhappy person with a strong iman would not be afraid of death either but might want it to come soon.  That's as far as one's own feelings for one's own life is concerned.  And every person with a strong iman with care to the fullest for someone else's life and always try to save them even if they don't care for their lives.

Very correct sister Ruhi.  Caring for the lives of others is a very important part of our iman and we must do everything in our power to protect them.  Even if they say they don't want to live, we must not listen to them and do everything we can to protect them, always.

This piece refers only to one's feelings toward one's own life which often differs according to their circumstances of life.  And in this case, according to Quranic principles, if a believer looks forward to his or her own death based on the strength of their iman, that's not a sin as the Hadith followers claim.

[Ruhi_Rose]

Right on, sis ...... no question on that.  

[muslima]

Interesting one sis!  I liked this.   A happy person with a strong iman would not be afraid of death but might not wish for it to come soon.  An unhappy person with a strong iman would not be afraid of death either but might want it to come soon.  That's as far as one's own feelings for one's own life is concerned.  And every person with a strong iman with care to the fullest for someone else's life and always try to save them even if they don't care for their lives.

[muslima]

 

Interesting one i too don't understand the hard statement of making it haram on the other side suicide bombing is rewardable act well i think remembering death is important for believer rather then wish for death  that's true disbeliever love their life ,earthly life is everything for them because they don't believe on the day of judgment neither the meeting with Allah.It is only the disbelievers and the deniers of Allah who will always fear death no matter if it is near or far ! and thus they have made no preparations for that meeting!  but momin know the reason of his creation and the truth of death which is fixed time ,believer/momin believe on the test of life, day of judgement and the meeting with Allah with account of earthly life..

May Allah shower His mercy on those who get fed up in any circumstances and give every muslim ability to help each other and those people who have such feelings and thoughts   because  wish of death and thinking or try to commit suicide Both are useless whether it's in negative sense or positive sense because the time of death is fixed


Quran's statement  is here !!


No soul can ever die except by Allah's leave and at a term appointed. Whoso desireth the reward of the world, We bestow on him thereof; and whoso desireth the reward of the Hereafter, We bestow on him thereof. We shall reward the thankful .3:145


so stay strong in ur faith , do not give up ,do not  try to run away ,try hard to pass every test of Allah to reach the level of Allah's true believer

Do men imagine that they will be left (at ease) because they say, We believe, and will not be tested with affliction?29:2

Lo! We tested those who were before you. Thus Allah knoweth those who are sincere, and knoweth those who feign.29:3

[Ruhi_Rose]

Actually wishing for death implies to not being afraid of death when the time comes or thinking of the time of death (whenever it has been fixed by Allah) with eagerness and awe instead of brushing aside that thought with fear & unwillingness.  After all, a true believer knows that Allah is aware of their righteousness and the system of Allah's justice is perfect.  Therefore, for a believer death becomes the gateway to Jannat.  Thus obviously, it makes them happy rather than sad .. though they would experience grief at the thought of saying good-bye and separating from their loved ones temporarily, Allah willing.

The concept of not fearing death or wishing for it connects with suicide indirectly as it brings about the aspect of not fearing death for oneself.  

But most traditionalists of Hadith and the modern imams in their lectures don't look upon it this way.  According to them wishing for death is a sign of depression and they claim depression to be Haram, which is another absurdity.  And of course, there are quite a few Hadiths that claim suicide to be Haram and also mention the punishments for those who commit suicide, as if the Hadith writers will preside over everyone on the Day of Judgment.

[muslima]

Hmmm okay I understand sis believer's wishing for death . Got  ur point thanks dear sister 

 . depression is haram ???

 imams are emotionless , they have never understand the situation one going through when person need support not such rude fatwas

[Heba E. Husseyn]

Yeah sis, LOL .. a lot of our friends tell us that their imams have said to them that depression is Haram.  They think that only those people feel depressed who lose hope in life because they don't have faith in Allah.  I don't know how they jump to such strange conclusions.  Depression is a natural phenomenon of life with all living beings.  Once a while even the happiest of people feel depressed.  Sometimes when I feel depressed it's my strong faith in Allah that helps me to feel better again.  Of course love and affection from family also helps very much but most important is faith in Allah which cures depression quicker than the best anti-depressant medicine.  So I don't know why these imams claim depression is Haram. 

About a year ago we had a discussion on the topic regarding optimism, whether or not it's a good thing.  In that we tried to figure out why many Muslims wrongly think depression to be Haram.  You might find that thread interesting.

Is optimism a good thing?

[muslima]

This kind of  sick logic of ulma's and muftis bugs me alot.. 

My dear sister heba thank u going to check your  discussion right away 

[muslima]

btw nice profile picture sister 

[Heba E. Husseyn]

btw nice profile picture sister 

Aw, thanks a lot, lot sis!