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Hadith says it is preferable to marry young Virgin girls ? Is this sunnah ?

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muslima
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« on: December 12, 2013, 03:17:33 pm »

 salamem


I have been quoted both hadiths in the regard of  FOR men four marriages are allowed & nothing wrong with marry to young virgin girl rather it's sunnah !! .Such hadiths are proof that Men wrote this Hadith religion for his own lust... so i want to discuss them too

@ P.s ..As close friendship matter apart from my anger & personal feelings for my sis , please do notify if i am overlooking any quranic perspective .. need ur advice with following question
 
 
http://haditsbukharionline.blogspot.be/2010/11/wedlock-marriage-nikaah.html
 
 
 Volume 7, Book 62, Number 7


Narrated Said bin Jubair:
Ibn 'Abbas asked me, "Are you married?" I replied, "No." He said, "Marry, for the best person of this (Muslim) nation (i.e., Muhammad) of all other Muslims, had the largest number of wives."
 
 
It was explained to us like that !!

 According to the hadeeth narrated by al-Bukhaari from Ibn ‘Abbaas, the best of this ummah are those who have most wives."
 
?
 
According to the second hadith of imam bukhari !!  preferable to marriage young Virgins girls  ??
 

 
 Volume 7, Book 62, Number 17:



Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah:
When I got married, Allah's Apostle said to me, "What type of lady have you married?" I replied, "I have married a matron' He said, "Why, don't you have a liking for the virgins and for fondling them?" Jabir also said: Allah's Apostle said, "Why didn't you marry a young girl so that you might play with her and she with you?'
 

 
  Angry

What th heck ? this is a limit of slandering prophet and religion   Angry how pathetic & f* porn hadith is, i have no words , am wondering how sick is getting ummah for their own favour alone ,On behalf of such hadith assertion how could any man defend himself  ? unbelievable,Curse to such munafiqeen , looters of  deen-e- ibrahim (pbuh) those who call themselves follower of prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and living with hadith . How easily such selfish men's could find each and every flexibility for Polygamy/multiple marriages  and in some of genuine cases when polygamy required in real practice as true believer permitted , most of them immediately run away why ? We can plainly see the hadith contradiction but sadly our hadith lovers can't , simply both narration so called hadith are violate the Quranic teachings , Many times i have been in disscions I've heard from majority of sensible people that Polygamy has rules and restrictions, and that it is not for everyone /everymen and not recommended either , because at the end it puts men in real trouble, No doubt to marry more than one women is not easy , Its hard enough to take care  and the demands of one women and fulfilment of one family  Isn't ? in practical life Polygamy is not  suitable for every man ?
 
 
 Coming to the issue ! May be some hadithist sisters are facing same situation and got trapped  through wrong interpretation that Quran permit polygamy so they should be aware of the wisdom and  their rights as well  in any situation...I too would like to learn more through ur insight

My dearest friends (hadithist) elder sister is facing the situation  ! after 20 years of marriage ,her husband fall in love with girl age of 23 ,girl works at same place with him,she belongs to the muslim family ,no financial issue at all neither proposal issues she is young enough ,but why fell in love with married man ? I don't know  :/ and  Men is 48 years old  Undecided , his daughter is 19 years old and son is 17 years old , his wife is quite beautiful  , up to leval of his fantasy wife as he always used to say she is my soul mate :/  it was a love marriage, their parents was also happy with them .Now we all ,and His family is  shocked and upset but he is madly in love with that chick and keep playing his recorded above quoted hadith's and Quran verses !! He said to his wife !! I love her , i want to marry her , i have right up to 4 marriges ,Quran givin me rights, also it is sunnah ,our prophet had numbers of wife , wasn't He loved his each wife ? Ur status is same  but i love her too  .Whether U parmited or not i will marry her so its better for u to  accept it , U should have to understand me .That man has made his wife sick and After the suffering of 6 months with emotional torcher  finally she has broken her silence regarding the matter and decided to tell the story of what happened  and what she want's, and For the sake of  her husband and his frustrating love , she allows her husband to marry that girl and decide to take divorce , she  told her  husband ! I don't want u to be with me forcefully , U have lost all the respect , love and feeling i had for u ,whether it's right or wrong i don't want to be with u , divorce me and go a head, but her in -laws love her very much and they don't want her to take divorce Sad also that shameless man don't want to divorce her rather want her to accept it happily and live together after his second marriage(also because he cant offered another house ,his parents has refused to accept that girl as daughter in-law )
 
Q: she want divorce but her mother also trying to convince her ,not to take divorce as the fear of her future and the gossips about divorced women but she is suffering emotionally , mentally.
 
 
 Q , Does Quran permit polygamy in this way , absolutely Not  , is this social cause ?  who's hurt more ? the girl who need or not emotional or sexual support in halal way of marriage ? or the family who's facing disaster including parents and kids  ? that girl would get any respect or status in such situation ? i personally don't have any sympathy with that young girl who's putting one decant family in trouble for her few month's love and fucked up the sacrifice is of someone's 20 years of marriage life..destroying a marital life and damaging the kids for a personal reason is really not fair by itself i think .

Main Question !!


Q: I dont think Quran make her oblige to stay in this marriage for any reason ( in - laws, her own parents , or future security If she don't want ,She have right to ask divorce or khula in this situation according to Quran verse 4:19  ? none have right to force her ?

it is forbidden to inherit women against their will
 
O ye who believe! It is not lawful for you forcibly to inherit the women (of your deceased kinsmen),4:19
 
Right ?
 
Now here Help me to understand polygamy  ? If am not wrong Polygamy is not a rule or order but an exception ? many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to have more than one wife. Quran limited the number of wives to four.In fact Quran law sought to control and regulate the number of spouses rather than give free license as hadith allowed man an unlimited number of wives .The reason for multiple wives in Islam was not to satisfy men's desire but for the welfare of women , yes Quran does permits max 4 marrigas but 4:3, which permits polygamy only if the husband may treat each wife equitably But Surah 4:129 says this equal treatment is impossible in general isn't ? polygamy without any solid ,genuine reason is undoubtedly impossible in practical terms  .


Q: Also the question is how many of muslims have understand the original context of Quran verse, the permissibility of polygamy ? 99 percent males are surely fail to understand that's why coincidental polygamy that's why its just become a heavily male-dominated culture nothing els . Surah An Nisa was revealed for the protection of women , not to allow men to marry multiple wives for no reason, or worse to marry young ,virgin girls half of men's age just to fulfil his sexual desire ? or love or whatever .. Quran is not Only  The religious book rather it deal the social issues very very well in this regard i wonder if any men (real men ,true believer ) is able to follow the real sunnah to support women as Quran has permitted.  same question arised again how many support needy women ? whether she's widow , divorced or over aged women ,or really needy single women ? And Why is that so ?why the most beautiful coincidence find man always at any place , in any age of his life ? why man always fall in love with virgin or young girls, young women ? and all suddan behave like a real men to support their love ? and to justify their personal desire proudly twist the Quranic context and drage out sunnah as well in the matter ?

@ First of all , all sick men's should know that prophet marriages was not result of any love affairs, before qouting any sayings as hadith ! keep in ur mind very clear Prophet did not just married for sexual life, He (pbuh) married to others because by the commands of Allah,He  wanted   him (pbuh) to set up examples to marry not just wealthy, beautiful, young girls but to provide sincere support and protection to women who needs it.Prophet Muhammad's marrigas was more SOCIAL CAUSE than lust/power/beauty/ Or love affaires.

 As i said above Polygamy has rules and restrictions, and that it is not for every man. Multiple marriages lay  heavy responsibility on man,It is not a pleasure trip as some people may assume ,If a man has more than one wife, he must treat them all in an equal manner, emotionally and financially. he has to provide separate living accommodation for each of his wives , But in reality after supreme honeymoon period of second marriage  most of the jerks who multiply marriage  for pleasure, quickly gets frustrated even more irritating , fed up, tired and sick of divided life, taking care of two wives , two families , more kids and so on life is not bed of roses after all ..And Truth is totally apposite and different now a days  also ,The tragedy of this era is  what such born muslims wants from life  they  don't have any answer either, most of men's  want permission of second marriage to keep young chick for entertainment to fulfil their fancy romance and sexual drives and today's life is proving it, there are so many girls also those who don't want kids , dutiful job as wife rather just want to get married to wealthy elder man or married man to enjoy life,to cash their young age ,they wishfuly offer themselves as second wife , to fulfil their physical and emotional desire in halal lable, also get financial support under nikah agreement lets not forget such situation are hard for first wife .. Most of the womens are well aware of their husband nature so they don't allow man to have second wife with out solid reason and they are also right ...
 
We must know that Our brain is very limited to understand the hikmat , wisdom of quranic law so please don't play with Allah's laws for ur own lust,  keeping the sis situation in mind , in genral it's clear that the husband cannot literally keep equality between two or more wives because they themselves cannot be equal . It is difficult for men to maintain equality to a young wife and to old wife, to healthy wife and to an invalid wife, to beautiful wife and averaged looks wife These differences naturally make a husband more inclined towards one wife than towards the other..In my opinion Polygamy should not be applied as religious sanction but social cause in some cases with agreement of both parties (husband and wife ) polygamy is still benifitnal if we see the some situations i am sharing blow my own relative's situation but it is not easy anyway ...
 
Here the sitations where i would say  it's ok !!

one of my own relitive recently have got married second time ,with the permission of his first wife ! Allah know if she really permitted him because ,she is not a type of lady who can share her husband but anyway ( her husbad's friends sister has been divorced ,2 years ago, at age of 27, she have 3 daughter's ,her family is not financially strong to support her with her 3  daughters too so they started to look for reasonable  proposals for her  none respond positively as usual because she have 3 daughters so he(my relative) decided to take responsibility of that ( friends divorced sister ) and  her 3 daughters he already have 3 kids , his first wife (34 age) nor happy neither upset but she's just agreed with his decision ( how i don't know ) all she said is , it is hard but also it's okay for me  i have accept it because he is supporting her 3 daughters and i know there is no personal lust  or love affair involved and sister  need this support so it's okay..

In this way we can say ok, also this is quite valid ,social reason according to Quranic perspective also ,every one in family appreciating  her and respected her even more . Also are very welcome to the second daughter in law with respect. I too pray and hope bro will be able to maintain justice ameen .. Yeah some sister can do that ,I salute her , but not every women feel or think the same about the same issue's and i won't say every women should be like that it is really depends on the individual case..
 
 
Am i Right or wrong ,guidance required  ?? what's ur opinion guys ?
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Heba E. Husseyn
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« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2013, 08:13:01 am »

Walaikum Salam Sister Muslima.  This true story of your friend's sister is sad as well as interesting. It shows how the corruption of Hadith has affected our society.

I've read those hadiths quoted about marrying virgins and fondling etc.  Really vulgar!  Whoever believes that the Prophet (pbuh) could say such things only shows their lack of respect for the Prophet.  There is no way the Prophet would ever talk like this to anyone, let alone to young men whom the Prophet hardly knew and who arrived in Medinah and converted to Islam when the Prophet was in around 60 or 61 years of age. 

Not just that all of these ahadith are totally false, but these people who claim to be "sahabahs" had most likely never even met the Prophet (pbuh). 

You're right sis.  Majority of Muslims have  completely misunderstood the Quran's ideology of polygamy.

Polygamy is a social issue not a religious one.  Islam did not initiate polygamy, it simply restricted the number of a man's wife to four giving each one a legal status and legal rights at a time when a man could marry any number of women he wanted and stack them up in a harem without any legal rights.   
Polygamy is an option not a compulsion.  And because of all the legal rights given to women, even as an option polygamy involves numerous responsibilities.  It doesn't only mean giving them equal love (as much as possible) but also more or less equal financial status.  Very few are capable of that.  A man cannot give a plush mansion of his first wife and kids, but dump his second wife and children in a shabby uncomfortable accommodation.  And yet many men do such things especially when they remarry only for sexual pleasure.  In such cases these men generally lead their official lives with their first wives and allot a small portion of free time, whenever possible, to  spend with the second wife for their own recreation.  This is obnoxious and thoroughly against Quranic precepts.

If a husband decides to take a second wife, it's not mandatory for the first wife to accept his decision.  Just as he has the right to decide upon a second marriage, similarly she has the right to either accept or reject his decision.  In that case, they either divorce or the man changes his mind and decides not to marry the other woman.  There is NO question of forced marriage in Islam.  Neither is there any rule in the Quran that stops a woman from filng for divorce if she has made up her mind about it.

With this in mind, many women who are not the type to handle polygamy also put a condition in their marriage contract that they do not allow their husbands to marry anyone else at a later time, if he so desires. 

You are right sis.  The purpose of polygamy is not simply satisfaction of sexual desires.  It is for the welfare of women in case the first wife agrees.  In the Prophet's (pbuh) case, it was largely an issue of financial support.  The Prophet's marriage was based on love only with his first wife Khadija and with whom he raised a family having 7 children.  They had a happy married life of 25 years until she died which left the Prophet devastated with grief.  He never had any family (no children) from his other wives and these were certainly not romantic or lustful marriages.

In the case of this man you mentioned aged 48 marrying a girl of 23, I think it's pure lust.  I'm also sure this 23-year-old girl must be knowing that the man's wife does not agree to this marriage.  In that case, this 23-year-old  should should have the decency and courtesy to back off and not to break up a family.  Only an unconscientious and profoundly selfish person would ignore this aspect.

Regarding your relative's marriage to his friend's sister seems more appropriate.  Particularly considering the fact that she has 3 kids, marrying her would involve many practical responsibilities including helping both wives to adjust to the presence of each other along with their children.  Thus, it won't bean easy job for the husband.  Unless this man, your relative, was serious about the well-being of this other lady's practical life and the lives of her children, he wouldn't have married her.  He obviously has good intentions.  However, only Allah Almighty will know his real intentions.   Even at such times, the husband must try to read the thoughts of his first wife.  For a happy 2-family life, it's necessary for the first wife to show at least some bit of willingness to her husband's decision.  It's possible she might say "yes" otherwise she fears her husband might divorce her and she has nowhere else to go.  Therefore, the husband shouldn't think that just a "yes" from the wife is enough.  Of course, 90% women will not be overly happy about it, but it should be a fairly cordial and confident 'yes.'

Just for information, we have several posts here on polygamy and the subject has been discussed thoroughly.  If you check the following link, you'll find that brief post helpful.  This post also contains the links of 4 or 5 other detailed MV articles on  polygamy and its responsibilities including a discussion on the Prophet's marriages.  You can read them too at your own time.

"Articulating further on that storm in a tea cup - polygamy in Islam"

http://muslimvilla.smfforfree.com/index.php?topic=4248.0


Thanks for sharing the stories of a relative and a friend, Sister Muslima.  May Allah Almighty grant patience and perseverance to the first wives in both cases.  Indeed their taqwa will be rewarded in the Hereafter, InshAllah.
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« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2013, 06:42:28 pm »

 salamem dear sis heba


jazak Allah sis heba thank u , this is a great advice  For all sisters, This is a very important and essential point women should not ignore it at marriage time ,No  one knows future but precaution is better . please sister's  Note it, Don't neglect ur rights during the marriage celebration must check marriage contract and put this conditions too..

excellent point  Thumbsup



 Sis regarding my relative No financial issue, my relative is financially strong, kids future is secure ,he is responsible man, also elderly people from both sides are aware of everything , am sure the Head of families will keep eye on him ,so far everything sounds fine ,new prograce is that now all kids are going in same school so it is good start ,I also agree with u ofcourse sis she had said yes but internally no woman could be happy as co -wife.May allah give her strength and rewards.

hmm  in my friends sister case  again i agree with u but she herself a problem,  she is very sensitive & nice lady,she always consider everyone before herself, we pray she have some courage to do something for her self too as their love for hadith has already squeezed her life now she need to stand up for her rights , yeah sis everyone in my friends family want that better girl back off but sadly no chance both are not agree to quit their marriage plan . No idea why she(that girl)  is dying to prove her love & loyalty for this old macho man,his friends and some respected pious people had also spoke with him But he's said marriage is not sin. 

Except sis mother and in-laws ,we ,her other friends ,sister everyone saying just leave the matter on Allah take ur decisions and let them f* their deeds..Let see May Allah Guide them.

Thanks alot sis for ur feedback  and educative view Allah bless u Smiley

Insahllah i will check Mv topics on polgamy

 
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« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2013, 11:17:18 pm »

Walaykum Salam everyone!   Smiley

Hummm ,, acha!  yep interesting  Cheesy     Polygamy is actually a 2-prong issue.  It's hard on the first wife who would quite certainly feel she's being treated unjustly.  Somewhat similarly one can also twist it the other way round .. if the would-be second wife has to abandon her plans for marriage because of the refusal of the first wife, she too can claim injustice for herself.

I've also heard of that rule of adding the clause for not allowing polygamy in the marriage contract or nikah nama, as it's called.   It's the same as, what they call in the West, a "pre-nuptial agreement" in which the husband often puts in a clause that in case of a divorce the wife will not claim much of his assets or money.  However, Muslim men cannot put any such clauses about money because the Quran has already highlighted the husband's financial responsibilities both during marriage and in case of a divorce and there is no such Quranic rule which allows the husband not to pay any compensation at all.

Normally when a wife gives her consent to her husband to marry another woman without seeking a divorce for herself, it often happens when the couple have drifted apart and no longer in love but have to stick around either for the kids or to avoid the usual hassles of divorce.  In such cases, many women are cool about their husband's second marriage as it's a relief for them that he's distracted so she can also lead her own life, sometimes double life by having a secret boyfriend .. lol.  Weird & ugly as it may sound, it does happen. 

Frankly, nowadays, the financial aspect of polygamy is a greater concern to most women than love.  Polygamy was less of a concern financially until 400 or 500 years ago when cost of living was much cheaper and families were more close-knit.  It's financially much harder to handle nowadays.  Most folks with average means usually do end up with an unequal distribution of finances between their 2 wives .. at least to some extent.  And if they have 3 or 4 wives (which is very rare among commoners even in gulf Arab countries), they certainly make quite a hash of their family-life because financial pressure between co-wives can lead to a lot of problems.  It's generally not an issue with multi-million shiekhs as in their cases even if the co-wives don't get an equal share, they get enough to maintain a very luxurious standard.  Every wife with her children gets a separate mansion to reside in - all expenses paid! and in those cases where they don't get along well, they don't even need to know of each others' existence because their homes could be situated miles apart.  Thus the episode ends well.  With all that money, they have enough going on in their lives and the fact that they have to share their husband during the 30 days of every month is not worrisome to them.  But in middle-class or even upper middle-class families it's usually a different issue.  Apart from the usual resentment of sharing the husband, the thought of financial deprivation keeps looming like rain clouds.  For this reason, there are many women who know that their husbands are having extra marital affairs, yet they stay silent and prefer it to a second marriage as long as the husband's girlfriend doesn't legally become a part of the family with legal rights & shares as much as the first wife.  Hence it's a 2-prong thing where one woman wins and the other loses.  If the husband decides not to marry a second time, the first wife wins.  If he does decide to marry with or without divorcing the first wife, the second wife wins.   In monogamous marriages where polygamy is not allowed, it's always the first wife who wins .. all other women lose, in that, they can only be mistresses with much lesser legal rights .. unless the husband seeks a divorce. 

Sister Heba is right in that it's largely a social issue.  In certain parts of the Muslim world polygamy is far more common than in others and thus it goes quite smoothly.  But many other places where it's not common socially, it's much harder for the women to handle.  I can understand that.

A lot of Muslims think that if a woman disagrees of her husband's second marriage, she's not a good Muslim.  That's big time rubbish.  The Noble Quran does not convey any such ideas.  A feeling of being possessive of each other to some extent in a positive way is natural in all spouses - women and men.   Some are more sensitive on this issue than others.  It's just a natural tendency and there's no sin in it .. unless one goes out of limits with one's possessive attitude.  That could become a serious problem.  So if the woman feels she is unable to cope with it, she can take a divorce.  Of course, it's still sad, but 99% of women who cannot handle polygamy usually opt for divorce very willingly and happily especially in cases where the husband is wealthy or fairly wealthy and the 'outgoing' wife has been able to negotiate a good divorce settlement pocketing a large slice of his assets  Cheesy 

Sometimes they say polygamy helps to tame womanizing men.   Those men who aren't cut out to stick around with one woman might as well have 4 legal wives rather than a wife and 3 illegal mistresses.  Morally and logically it makes perfect sense.  But as I stated above, a lot of wives prefer to share their husbands with their husbands' girlfriends rather than live as co-wives.  Again it's the issue of money not ego or love, because love & ego could be hurt just as much in the case of a girlfriend as in the case of a co-wife. 
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« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2013, 11:48:46 pm »

Unfortunately as stated, most Muslims today do misinterpret the concept of polygamy and look upon it only for sexual pleasure.  Therefore, I would suggest that as a standard law they should stick around with only one wife.  In very extraordinary cases, a second marriage can be decided with a lot of careful thinking and advise from close family members and close friends.  After all, the Quran has clearly stated that as human beings it will be difficult for you to treat all wives the same way.  This can sometimes cause unhappiness to the wife who is getting less attention.  And for this reason Allah has said that if a man is not capable of coping with the matter wisely, he should have just one wife.  As we see today, 99% are not able to handle it fairly.  So they should just stick to one wife and try to build up a healthy family life at one front. 

@ Sister Ruhi, I don't think polygamy will change a man who is habitually a womanizer to give up on womanizing.  In some cases it might but not all. Islam allows a maximum of 4 wives.  For a rampant womanizer that's nothing.  He will likely get fed up of his second, third and fourth wives the same way as he got fed up of his first wife.  Many such men usually want to meet and befriend new women every year.  The deviation and debauchery is so deep that it's hard to envisage.   Most of them aren't worthy of guidance, thus Allah leaves them in their sorrowful condition to be taught a lesson on the Day of Judgment.

It's true that our community often takes for granted that if a woman does not agree to her husband's second marriage, she's a "bad Muslim."  Needless to say, this is a very crazy attitude.  Where does the Quran say that a woman must agree to such a thing?  Similarly, our society also thinks that second or third marriage is a part of being a Muslim male.  This is another very stupid attitude. The Quran has made it crystal clear that polygamy is a provision, not a compulsion .. and a provision is to be implemented only when necessary, not just for fun. Some radical so-called Muslims who might want to indulge in polygamy for fun use the aspect of "sunnah" and therefore make it obligatory for a practicing Muslim male.  Such idiots are really disgusting as they distort the truth completely from the ideology of the Quran.  They only like to use the name of "Islam" to justify their secret motives and they forget that Allah is All-Knower and All-Seer.
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« Reply #5 on: December 14, 2013, 11:59:04 pm »

Correct brother, i really agree with your points which are truly compatible with the Quran, unlike the approach of the Shariah guys. 

@ Sister Ruhi, I don't think polygamy will change a man who is habitually a womanizer to give up on womanizing.  In some cases it might but not all. Islam allows a maximum of 4 wives.  For a rampant womanizer that's nothing.  He will likely get fed up of his second, third and fourth wives the same way as he got fed up of his first wife.  Many such men usually want to meet and befriend new women every year.  ............................

LOL!   teethsmile  ha ha haha!!  Spot on again.  Look at the Hollywooders and Bollywooders .. like beasts.  Even if they were allowed 25 wives at a time legally it wouldn't be enough and they would run after a 26th woman sooner rather than later.  Their women are also much the same.
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« Reply #6 on: December 15, 2013, 12:13:57 am »

Yes exactly hollywood /bollywood are a typical example .. and there are many more also outside of hollywood & bollywood who are identical - both genders.


Hence it's a 2-prong thing where one woman wins and the other loses.  If the husband decides not to marry a second time, the first wife wins.  If he does decide to marry with or without divorcing the first wife, the second wife wins.   In monogamous marriages where polygamy is not allowed, it's always the first wife who wins .. all other women lose, in that, they can only be mistresses with much lesser legal rights .. unless the husband seeks a divorce. 

One more important point about this which people often forget.  In monogamous marriages if the husband has a girlfriend or mistress, and his wife is not ready for a divorce and neither is he ready to quit his girlfriend or mistress, the wife can do nothing about it other than a divorce or live up with her husband's philandering.  The point here is that according to laws in the West, the man isn't allowed to marry a second wife unless he divorces the first one, but he can have affairs with as many as he likes.  The law does not stop him on that.  Therefore, if one thinks of it, it's not at all different from polygamy except that polygamous marriages seek to give a legal right to the mistress through marriage while the monogamous marriages in the West don't. 

However, the fact remains, that since most men are jerks, second marriage should not be taken as a joke and it should be considered necessary in extraordinary cases after much serious consideration, whether it's polygamy or monogamy.
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« Reply #7 on: December 15, 2013, 12:19:20 am »

One more important point about this which people often forget.  In monogamous marriages if the husband has a girlfriend or mistress, and his wife is not ready for a divorce and neither is he ready to quit his girlfriend or mistress, the wife can do nothing about it other than a divorce or live up with her husband's philandering.  The point here is that according to laws in the West, the man isn't allowed to marry a second wife unless he divorces the first one, but he can have affairs with as many as he likes.  The law does not stop him on that.  Therefore, if one thinks of it, it's not at all different from polygamy except that polygamous marriages seek to give a legal right to the mistress through marriage while the monogamous marriages in the West don't. 

That's very true.  Actually some years ago when Sister Zeynab had debated this issue with some non-Muslims (North Americans) at Islam Online.net, she raised this point and elaborated it with examples and those guys never responded to it because they had nothing to say.
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« Reply #8 on: December 17, 2013, 06:37:49 am »

 salamem

Thumbsup Sis Ruhi & Bro Truth-seeker Thanks for ur feedback  too ,u both have well discussed Many important aspects so brightly  Smiley JazakAllah

Hmmm so conclusion is !! Men's are very ill natured to love two women at same time, whether it's west or east ,non muslims or muslim ,in fact muslims are more  hypocrites in this regard, they want one pious girl/women for marriage , raising their kids , whom her voice were not even heard by any man /Na Mahram yet they want lovey-dovey, jolly as ever, stylish ,laughing girl /lady for affair ,for dating .Men never satisfy with one women but full loyalty excepted from sacrificing women. The world of man's compassion is beyond even imaginations ,if a wife do not tighten their screw and  don't  control their husbands they would probably fall in love with any women definitely they will fall in love with every second women around them And that other woman would be the most in need and deserving , except their wife every woman is innocent and needy , until they take them to the bed ! jerks ,  Men's are realy strange and poor  creature ,they Humiliate women ,degraded women but run behind them ..for the lust of women's body ,they are ruining their deeds ,  earthly life and the hereafter as well .For man total gain of this world !! woman's body ,The greed of Paradise/jannah is Maidens,fantasized sexy hoor that's it..Man's are in west suffering with problem of understanding! No one understand me !! and muslim are sex sick ,  lustful  Sad

@ All pious reader's Don't mind True believers are not includes.


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Lo! Allah hath bought from the believers their lives and their wealth because the Garden will be theirs: they shall fight in the way of Allah and shall slay and be slain. It is a promise which is binding on Him in the Torah and the Gospel and the Qur'an. Who fulfilleth His covenant better than Allah? Rejoice then in your bargain that ye have made, for that is the supreme triumph.9:111

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