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New 'culture' of Muslim men - reluctance to pay mahr (dowry)


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Zeynab
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« on: February 09, 2014, 08:34:24 pm »



In an attempt to gradually finish off with the Quranic dictate of paying mahr to brides, Muslim websites are posting stories, playing with family emotions and indoctrinating their minds into thinking that it's better not to demand mahr from the prospective groom.

Recently the website OnIslam.net English posted the following story (quite obviously a fabricated one) on Facebook and then someone tried to strengthen it by quoting a false hadith by a so-called sahaba, Sahl bin Saad. 

The story and hadith are both quoted below.  First read it and then view the response for readers' information.

Quoting OnIslam.net English:

A sister writes:-

"When my father proposed to my mother, he dedicated Surah Al-Imran, which he memorized of heart, as her “Mahr” (dowry)

When my husband proposed to me, my father told him that he would have to memorize a surah of the Quran as my mahr. The wedding will not go on unless I’ve received my mahr.

I was asked to pick one of the surahs… I chose Surah Al-Noor ......

A few days before our wedding day, my husband came to recite to my father the surah which he had completed .....

My husband began reciting surah Al-Noor with his calm/gentle voice in such a “beautiful” scene which I will never forget ...........

But my husband - May Allah bless him - had memorized the surah off heart and didn't even forget one single verse of it.

Once he finished my father hugged him and said to him: “Today I shall marry my daughter to u for u have fulfilled her mahr.. and your pledge to me..”

He didn't pay me a financial mahr… And we didn't buy gold worth tens of thousands…

Leave a comment and share your thoughts after reading this message.


Unquote:


Quoting the false Bukhari hadith that has prompted such ideas in men today:

Bukhari hadith - Volume 7, Book 62, Number 24, narrated Sahl bin Sad As-Sa'idi: A woman came to Allah's Apostle and said, "O Allah's Apostle! I have come to give you myself in marriage (without mahr)." Allah's Apostle looked at her. He looked at her carefully and fixed his glance on her and then lowered his head. When the lady saw that he did not say anything, she sat down. A man from his companions got up and said, "O Allah's Apostle! If you are not in need of her, then marry her to me." The Prophet said, "Have you got anything to offer?" The man said, "No, by Allah, O Allah's Apostle!" The Prophet said (to him), "Go to your family and see if you have something." The man went and returned, saying, "No, by Allah, I have not found anything." Allah's Apostle said, "(Go again) and look for something, even if it is an iron ring." He went again and returned, saying, "No, by Allah, O Allah's Apostle! I could not find even an iron ring, but this is my Izar (waist sheet)." He had no rida. He added, "I give half of it to her." Allah's Apostle said, "What will she do with your Izar? If you wear it, she will be naked, and if she wears it, you will be naked." So that man sat down for a long while and then got up (to depart). When Allah's Apostle saw him going, he ordered that he be called back. When he came, the Prophet said, "How much of the Quran do you know?" He said, "I know such sura and such sura," counting them. The Prophet said, "Do you know them by heart?" He replied, "Yes." The Prophet said, "Go, I marry her to you for that much of the Quran which you have."

Unquote:


Comment:

Memorizing any part of the Quran is beautiful..  But it's independent of mehr or any other duties which Allah has implemented. I don't trust stories such as this one posted above. They're simply playing with peoples' sentiments by using the Quran to dodge an important responsibility implemented on men by Allah Almighty. The Noble Quran itself highlights the importance of mahr. Reference Verses 4.25, 5.5, 33.50 and 60.10.  And kindly do not quote the unauthentic, man-written hadith literature. Our beloved Prophet (pbuh) never said such things. Once the Quran endorses a law, hadith has no validity concerning it. Would the Prophet (pbuh) ever overrule anything that's been asserted by the Noble Quran? Never!

In countries where women are completely dependent on men financially, mahr is very important and according to Islam it has to be financial as it offers woman a security in case of a divorce. How men exploit religion and women's feelings is absolutely astounding and shameful. The future husband can learn a Surah as a present for her but still give her mahr to which she is entitled.

Some people try to downplay or ignore mahr by saying the Prophet's first wife, Khakijah, was financially independent and in such cases why give mahr?

Okay, so now Muslim men want independent women! But they forget that according to Islam she does not have to spend a penny on her husband because it is her money alone to spend how she pleases.   Therefore the woman's financial status is irrelevant.

This does not imply that a future husband must go bankrupt under the pressure of a mahr he cannot afford and neither does it imply that the wife or her family must be unreasonably demanding.  But it ought to be the future husband's desire to ensure that his future wife is respected in this regard. Corrupted Hadiths are used by masses today to cover every bit of their un-Islamic actions, especially in regards to women.  It's a very negative change from the example of the Prophet's (pbuh) life.   May Allah Almighty guide the Muslim men of today.

May Allah Almighty grant guidance to this ummah.
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Ruhi_Rose
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« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2014, 10:04:38 pm »

Haahaha  haha.   Right, this is exactly what it is, playing with people sentiments by using the Noble Quran.  How quick they are to quote the hadith lies as references while so many Verses of the Quran that mention the necessity of dowry remain neglected.  That is the present Muslim mindset.  Pressure must be exerted on these cheats at these initial stages to thwart this shit otherwise eventually they will do away with dowry altogether.. or still worse, they will copy the practice in Pakistan which is borrowed from the kuffar of India in which the groom doesn't simply not pay but pressures the bride to pay dowry.  Limit of bastardization! 

And this image is interesting  Cheesy  while the lady signs the nikah, the guy got his hands on his face.  At least he has the shame to be ashamed of himself and hide his face Grin
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« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2014, 10:18:57 pm »

Pressure must be exerted on these cheats at these initial stages to thwart this shit otherwise eventually they will do away with dowry altogether.. or still worse, they will copy the practice in Pakistan which is borrowed from the kuffar of India in which the groom doesn't simply not pay but pressures the bride to pay dowry.  Limit of bastardization! 

Exactly.  This approach must be loudly denounced otherwise it will become a practice. 



 Cheesy  while the lady signs the nikah, the guy got his hands on his face.  At least he has the shame to be ashamed of himself and hide his face Grin

LOL that's right.  He ought to drown himself in his own pee!
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« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2014, 09:59:48 am »

 salamem

Hmm another mockery ,hadiths has made Islam a joke 
btw Nice image LOL ,   salute to the women's those who towed such inactive men's as their Bridal ,  Cheesy
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Lo! Allah hath bought from the believers their lives and their wealth because the Garden will be theirs: they shall fight in the way of Allah and shall slay and be slain. It is a promise which is binding on Him in the Torah and the Gospel and the Qur'an. Who fulfilleth His covenant better than Allah? Rejoice then in your bargain that ye have made, for that is the supreme triumph.9:111
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« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2014, 11:32:36 pm »

I'm sure OnIslam.net wrote this story based on its own fantasy that some day every woman will forgo mahr.  They are definitely trying to initiate that practice.  This is something no Muslim should even be debating about.  What's endorsed by the Quran simply has to be followed with one's own position and circumstances in consideration.  That is, mahr does not mean making marriage a commercial transaction, but neither does it mean to quit it.  Every Muslim male must arrange for a mahr - whatever he can afford comfortably without being stingy.  Period.  Otherwise he only proves himself to be a miser and displays his lack of respect for his future wife. 

As for that false and poorly written hadith, I won't even comment.  It's too irritating.  LOL! 
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« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2014, 11:33:57 pm »

At least he has the shame to be ashamed of himself and hide his face Grin

 Grin Cheesy Grin
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