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An annoying hadith about marriage and deen

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Author Topic: An annoying hadith about marriage and deen  (Read 760 times)
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Heba E. Husseyn
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« on: May 06, 2018, 11:03:29 pm »

Just to mention a point that could be viewed as within the context of this topic. 

Rushing anyone to get married (not just daughters but sometimes sons are also rushed into marriage by well-meaning family members) brings the risk of an unhappy marriage.  This aspect is cited in Verse 33:37 (Surah Al-Ahzab).

"And when you said unto him on whom Allah has conferred favour and you have conferred favour: Keep your wife to yourself, and fear Allah. And you did hide in your mind that which Allah was to bring to light, and you did fear mankind whereas Allah has a better right that you should fear Him."  (33:37) Al-Ahzab.

The reference in this Verse is to the unhappy marriage of Zeid, the Prophet's (pbuh) freedman and adopted son to the Prophet's first cousin, Zainab bin Jahsh, a wealthy lady of Qureysh.  Zainab was the Prophet's aunt's daughter.  The Prophet (pbuh) arranged this marriage with the intent of abolishing the old barrier created by the pride of the elites refusing to marry into middle-class or poor families.  Historical data has consistently conveyed that neither Zainab nor her brother agreed to this match, and since long Zainab and her family felt she would be a suitable match for her cousin, the Prophet himself.  But the Prophet ignored their wishes and was very eager that Zainab should marry Zeid, for whom, considering the social differences, this marriage was quite an embarrassment. 

As it happened, Zainab's marriage to Zeid arranged by the Prophet did not turn out to be a happy one.  When the Prophet's (pbuh) attention was first called to their unhappiness, he (pbuh) urged Zeid to keep his wife and not divorce her as he (the Prophet) was worried of the talk that would arise if it became known that a marriage arranged by him had failed.  Yet the marriage did not last much longer and the couple divorced.  This aspect has been spoken by the Divine Power in the above Verse " .... and you did fear mankind whereas Allah has a better right that you should fear Him."   It refers to the Prophet (pbuh) persuading Zeid not to divorce Zainab for fear of what the society would say and thus ignoring the unhappiness of the couple, whereas happiness of a marriage is much more important than the talk of the people.  Most importantly, even though the Prophet's intention was very good, yet Allah reprimands him that he should have feared Allah more than the society, implying that an unhappy marriage is not included in the category of the Divine Commandment.


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