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Severing ties with relatives


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Ruhi_Rose
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« on: May 08, 2018, 01:34:18 am »



 BismEm

"Would you then, if you were given the command, work corruption in the land and sever your ties of kinship?"   (47:22)  Surah Muhammed.


Does this Verse exclusively refer to personal relations between relatives?   I mean, what if a relative of mine is nasty and domineering and I detest that person (male or female)?   I feel very sure that Allah Almighty does allow us to make our own personal decisions in such situations. If we feel unable to cope with such snotty critters, we can by all means decide to stay away from them in silence.  I don't mean to indulge in a quarrel with anyone, but just mind my own business, leave them to their own devices and avoid contact with them. 

Need you feedback on this topic dear MV team Smiley

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« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2018, 04:35:47 am »



As-Salam Alaykum Sister Ruhi.   Actually this Verse does not refer to personal relations with relatives.   Though the Noble Quran does greatly emphasize upon kindness towards relatives, Verse 47:22 does not refer to severing personal ties because of personal differences.  This can be perceived by reading the two preceding Verses 47:20 and 21 quoted as follows:

"And those who believe say: If only a surah were revealed! But when a decisive surah is revealed and war is mentioned therein, you see those in whose hearts is a disease looking at you with the look of men fainting unto death. Therefor woe unto them!
Obedience and a civil word. Then, when the matter is determined, if they are loyal to Allah it will be well for them."   (47:20-21).


As we can easily understand, the above two Verses imply assisting the Prophet (pbuh) by fulfilling one's defense duties for the protection of Islam.  There were many who professed to be believers, yet they were fearful of the kuffar and unwilling to participate in battles against enemies who were a threat to Medinah.  Allah Almighty expresses His disappointment over such folks.  If they changed and proved to be loyal towards Allah, it would be better for their own souls.  Thus the reference in Verses 47:20-21 is to military duties and war. 

Then in V. 47:22 Allah Almighty alludes to these people, that if they slide back into disbelief (like before) and get the upper hand or become victorious, they will resume their destructive acts, the spread of corrupt practices and revoke friendly treaties between the various tribes and clans (that sprung from the same family tree decades or centuries ago).  This is what "sever you ties of kinship" refers to, that is, severing ties between brotherly clans at a political or community level rather than personal one-on-one relationship with a member or some members of one's immediate or extended family.

There used to be peace treaties between tribes as well as various agreements for cooperation in trade, agriculture, water-sharing etc.  These treaties created strong brotherly bonds between tribes and clans and promoted stability within the community.  Severing the ties by breaking the treaties led to turmoil and destruction. 

Highlighting the importance of showing kindness to immediate and extended family at a personal level, and also kindness towards those who aren't related to us is evident from the following Verses:

V.2:83
"And (remember) when We made a covenant with the Children of Israel, (saying): Worship none save Allah (only), and be good to parents and to kindred and to orphans and the needy, and speak kindly to mankind; and establish worship and pay the poor-due." 

V. 2:177
"It is not righteousness that you turn your faces to the East and the West; but righteous is he who believes in Allah and the Last Day and the angels and the Scripture and the prophets; and gives wealth, for love of Him, to kinsfolk and to orphans and the needy and the wayfarer and to those who ask, and to set slaves free;"

V. 4:8
"And when kinsfolk and orphans and the needy are present at the division (of the heritage), bestow on them therefrom and speak kindly unto them."

 V. 16:90
"Lo! Allah enjoins justice and kindness, and giving to kinsfolk, and forbids lewdness and abomination and wickedness. He exhorts you in order that ye may take heed."

V. 17:26
"Give the kinsman his due, and the needy, and the wayfarer, and squander not (your wealth) in wantonness."

V.24:22
"And let not those who possess dignity and ease among you swear not to give to the near of kin and to the needy, and to fugitives for the cause of Allah.  Let them forgive and show indulgence. Yearn you not that Allah may forgive you?    Allah is Forgiving, Merciful."


Personal ties with family and extended family is generally underscored in the Noble Quran by indicating compassion and kindness. 

Needless to say, it's presumed that you maintain friendly and cooperataive ties with relatives provided they are not hurtful, envious, abusive, bossy or scandalous;  also provided they don't carry a negative influence on you and your family through immorality or disbelief.   If their behavior makes you uncomfortable, then you are certainly entitled to respectfully quit their company.  After all, Allah has never made it mandatory upon us to force ourselves spending time in the company of those we aren't compatible or comfortable with.  Neither has The Almighty given the entitlement to any relative to behave in a way that's intolerable to other relatives ... like trying to take over their lives.  The important aspect is that we should move away respectfully without creating more unpleasantness. 

If some of your close relatives or close friends are pushy disbelievers, then as a firm believer you would surely feel uneasy with them.  In such a situation it's incumbent on you to quit the company of these folks, regardless of how close a relative or friend they might be.

"O you who believe!  Choose not your fathers nor your brethren for friends if they take pleasure in disbelief rather than faith.  Whoso of you takes them for friends, such are wrong-doers."  (9:23)  At-Taubah.

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« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2018, 01:45:46 am »



Waleykum As-Salam and many thanks dear brother.  That was very thorough information.  I knew the answer to my query was there.  Alhumdulilah.  Allah NEVER demands anything unreasonable from anyone.



V.24:22
"And let not those who possess dignity and ease among you swear not to give to the near of kin and to the needy, and to fugitives for the cause of Allah.  Let them forgive and show indulgence. Yearn you not that Allah may forgive you?    Allah is Forgiving, Merciful."

I think this Verse has a reference to a specific incident or event, right?

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