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Putting a price on kindness


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Ruhi_Rose
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« on: January 03, 2020, 12:01:02 am »

 


BismEm


"qawlun   maʿrūfun  wama-ghfiratun  khayrun  min  ṣadaqatin  yat-baʿuhā  adhan  wa-Allahu  ghaniyyun  ḥalīmun"   (2:263  Al-Baqrah).

"A kind word with forgiveness is better than almsgiving followed by injury.   Allah is Absolute, Clement."   (2:263). 



Salams dear readers.  This is one of the very important ethical reminders in the Noble Quran. 

How many people have you come across in life who would show you an act or two of kindness and then expect you to cope with their bullying and pushy approach for a long time to come?  I'm sure quite a lot.  

That's like doing a good deed, then washing it away with buckets of water.    It's a very common human trait, and a very bad one, typical of those with oppressive characteristics embedded in their temperament - the covert aggressive behavior.   The silent goal of covert aggressors is to eventually actively control the naive and timid ones by using kindness as a bait which could be monetary help or any other assistance a needy person may require in the course of their daily lives.

There are some who would even watch like predators to find a helpless friend or relative, show them a bit of warmth and kindness initially to gain their trust, and then resort to an attitude of browbeating and judging ...  expecting the poor victim to bear with them at every step as a gesture of gratitude.   It amounts to attaching a very high price tag on your acts of kindness, turning them meaningless.  While some vulnerable folks might be compelled to pay the exorbitant price, others might find it unaffordable.   Most importantly, The Almighty is watching.

It's quite a customary design of emotional abuse perpetrated by coercive folks who could be a relative, friend, colleague or neighbor .. could be a man or a woman.   Badgering and browbeating aren't gender based.   There were people with such temperaments in Medinah (particularly in regard to almsgiving) when our beloved Prophet (pbuh) migrated there.  There are people of this type at present just about everywhere.  It's this attitude that the Noble Quran highlights in Verse 2:263.   If you are inclined to demanding a price for your kindness, then it's better for your soul to forget it altogether.  Just give a polite smile and a nod, and excuse yourself. 

The Noble Quran is Knowledge, and Knowledge is power.  Recognizing the crafty tricks of tyrannical minds can protect you from harassment and emotional stress.   Remember Verse 2:263. 

Prior to V.2:263, Allah Almighty also mentions this aspect in the preceding Verse 2:262.  

"Those who spend their wealth for the cause of Allah and afterward make not reproach and injury to follow that which they have spent;"  (2:262). 



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« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2020, 12:18:51 am »



Walaykum Salam sister Ruhi. 
A vital reminder that contributes a lot to humanity.  Unfortunately many don't heed it.  The helpless and vulnerable folks are often compelled to allow such bullies to hang around, just in case they may need help in their tough situations.  That's like having a friend or a relative as an investment with a high emotional cost.   Can be quite an ordeal to live with.

Alhumdulilah, great Verse. 
 
Thank you sister for the very helpful commentary.

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