Quran 3:28

[Jeff]

Quran 3:28
Let not the believers take disbelievers for their friends in preference to believers. Whoso doeth that hath no connection with Allah unless (it be) that ye but guard yourselves against them, taking (as it were) security. Allah biddeth you beware (only) of Himself. Unto Allah is the journeying.

Is this verse saying that you cannot be freinds with non believers at all or does it mean something else?

[Ruhi_Rose]

As-Salam Alaykum.   This Verse basically refers to the Prophet's (pbuh) time when hurtful opposition from the idolaters of Makkah towards the Prophet (pbuh) and his followers was widespread.  Except for a few neutral ones, none could be trusted. 

However, even at present, as you may have observed, there are problems and plenty of non-Muslims prefer not to understand us.  But that cannot be generalized and there are certain points Allah wants us to consider.  Thus, this Verse needs to be explained in a wider context .. a topic we have already covered at MV.  Kindly visit the following link:

Can believers take disbelievers as close friends?

Also please study the two links at this post.
 

[Jeff]

Walekum Assalam,

I read the original post and am now wondering if I'm supposed to cut ties with my family. My brothers are Aethiest and Mum is Christian and Dad is just Christian for mums sake. Rest of the family is Aethiest.

I was under the impression that we were never supposed to cut ties with family. However that teaching might of come from the hadiths I can't remember. I just tried to find it in the quran with a Google search and couldn't.

I'm also wondering if you would call sunni and Shia muslims disbelievers?

Because if I have to sever ties with everyone then that means I'll be all on my own 😔

Currently I am stuck living with my parents. I have the intention to move out but just recently lost my temping assignment due to a mental health breakdown. I was hoping to acquire a full-time position with a company before I left home.

[N. Truth Seeker]

As-Salam Alaykom brother Jeff.   NO, you don't have to sever ties with anyone least of all your parents and family even if they are not submitters or believers (Muslims).   I don't know of any our posts that suggest one should do this.  I absolutely understand that if you quit everyone around you, you'll be totally isolated, and no one can survive that way.  The Noble Quran does not support that idea at all, and that is not and has never been our suggestion.  Certainly you can meet your family, chat with them, live with them for as long as you wish, meet your friends .... all of whom who aren't believers.  The only thing to keep in mind is not to get swayed by anyone and not to participate in non-Muslim rituals or ceremonies with them.  Politely excuse yourself for that and I'm sure they will understand.  They might have lots to say that does not conform with the values of a believer who follows the Noble Quran.  In such a situation, politely decline to indulge in anything that is against our ethical values.  IF, any one of your family or friends are harboring a hostile attitude toward you or pressuring you to quit your belief, then you would yourself feel uncomfortable and decide stay away.  But such a situation is rare. 

After all the Prophet's (pbuh) guardian - his uncle, Abu Talib - was a disbeliever, in that, he never embraced Islam.  Yet the Prophet (pbuh) lived with him, and Abu Talib cared for the Prophet (pbuh) and protected him against all hostilities.  The Prophet (pbuh) had the utmost of respect for his uncle as an elder of his family.  This very rational personal relationship between the Prophet (pbuh) and his uncle serves as a perfect example for everyone is similar situations.  While the Prophet (pbuh) remained firmly focused on Faith and Truth, he continued to respect and be kind to his uncle despite his disbelief.  And his uncle, though he wasn't drawn to the Prophet's (pbuh) call, continued to love and care for him as his orphaned nephew.

The Noble Quran says in regard to parents:

"And We have enjoined upon man concerning his partners - His mother bears him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years - Give thanks unto Me and unto your parents. Unto Me is the journeying."  31:14. Luqman

"But if they strive with you to make you ascribe unto Me as partner that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Consort with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who repents unto Me. Then unto Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do."   31:15  Luqman.

The above Verses are self-explanatory.  There are several other Verses that highlight the significance of kindness toward parents, family, extended family, friends and those who need help.  These people don't necessarily have to be believers.  But if they don't intend to hurt you and need help, be kind and do whatever you can to help. 

"And serve Allah. Ascribe nothing as partner unto Him. (Show) kindness unto parents, and unto near kindred, and orphans, and the needy, and unto the neighbor who is of kin (unto you) and the neighbor who is not of kin, and the fellow-traveller and the wayfarer and your slaves. Indeed! Allah loves not such as are proud and boastful."   4:36  An-Nissa.

We had a similar conversation with another revert brother about 5 years ago.  I'm posting the link of that thread.  It might be useful for you to read that too.

Difference between disbelievers and non-believers by Brother Danny Taylor @ MV

Insh'Allah, I hope this helps to understand the topic better.

If there is anything in any of our posts that makes you think the connotation is to completely sever ties with disbelieving family, please refer the post and paragraph.  We will clarify it, Insh'Allah.

[Zainab_M]

I'm also wondering if you would call sunni and Shia muslims disbelievers?

Because if I have to sever ties with everyone then that means I'll be all on my own

Walaikum As-Salaam Brother Jeff.   Would like to add this point.  Of course Shiias and Sunnis are Muslims.  It's true that unfortunately many of their thoughts and ideas have gone wrong over the time.  However they do believe in One Allah, they do believe in the Hereafter, they do accept the Noble Quran as the Original and Final Divine Scripture and they do accept Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) as the Final Messenger.  Though I wish they followed the Quran more diligently, they are still Monotheists and our brethren-in-Faith. 

Do stay in touch with them, meet them and attend the mosque with them.  However, in the mosque during the khutba or any presentations you will hear a lot of references to the ahadith, and much of that may sound irrelevant and unconnected with the Quran.  Just ignore such stuff.  Briefly, focus on whatever we agree on and ignore whatever we disagree with ....  let not this be a reason to disunite.  Even though I'm aware many of our Sunni and Shiia brethren haven't worked hard on the concept "united we rise and divided we fall," I would never advise any Muslim to forget the importance of this concept.  Two wrongs don't make a right.

[Jeff]

Assalam o alaikum,

The part that was causing confusion was when Abraham disowned his father 9.114

Pickthall: The prayer of Abraham for the forgiveness of his father was only because of a promise he had promised him, but when it had become clear unto him that he (his father) was an enemy to Allah he (Abraham) disowned him. Lo! Abraham was soft of heart, long-suffering.

When i read that in the thread I assumed i had to do the same as Abraham because my parents are not Muslim. So i was thinking that meant any relative who isn't Muslim was an enemy to Allah.

So if we are not supposed to cut ties with family even if they don't believe how was Abraham justified in disowning. There must be something different between an enemy of Allah and just disbelievers?

[Zainab_M]

.......
So if we are not supposed to cut ties with family even if they don't believe how was Abraham justified in disowning. There must be something different between an enemy of Allah and just disbelievers?

Walaikum Salaam.   Well yes, that's what we have stated that unless the disbeliever's attitude is oppressive or intolerant to your beliefs, there is no logical reason to sever ties.   You only need to remember that when you spend time with disbelieving people, make sure your grip on Faith is firm and you don't swerve or fall into any sort of temptation that is prohibited in the Quran.

The reason why Prophet Abraham (pbuh) left his father was because his father was aggressive and intolerant toward Prophet Abraham's Monotheistic belief.  Prophet Abraham (pbuh) has no other choice but to leave his father otherwise he (Prophet Abraham) would be prevented from spreading the Message of Allah Almighty.

I suppose a lot of confusion is arising because you apparently have very little information about Quranic contents and the non-Quranic contents like the Hadith have different priorities. 

I would request, do please read the Quran systematically with a rational and perceptive mind.  And while we cannot stop the Hadith followers nor the non-Muslims talk of their preferences, just hold firm, don't let go and continue being focused on the Quran.  At the end of the day it's the Quran that's the Ultimate Truth, and on the Day of Judgment (which is inevitable) we will be accountable before Allah Almighty only.

[N. Truth Seeker]

We recall meeting a revert American brother some 20 years ago when there was lot of Islamophobia in the U.S.  A member of my family asked him if he found it difficult to be a Muslim in such circumstances.  His reply was superb.  He said (paraphrasing) even if a thousand people stood around him pointing their guns at his head, that could not stop him from being a Muslim.  He added, what could stop him from being a Muslim was his own heart .. unless he got deviated by negative temptations and misguided ideas.   That was very well said.

[Zainab_M]

Indeed well said.  Alhumdulilah.  Thanks for sharing Brother TS.

[Jeff]

Thanks for explaining. It's a big relief knowing I don't have to sever ties. My family don't believe what I do but they don't harass or persecute me for my beliefs. They are very loving and supportive and just want me to be happy 🙂

[Zainab_M]

Mash'Allah, I'm sure that will make things much easier for you, Insh'Allah.  Ameen.