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A consequence of not recognizing polygamy in the West


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Author Topic: A consequence of not recognizing polygamy in the West  (Read 613 times)
Zeynab
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« on: July 22, 2007, 03:09:40 am »

 BismEm

First, as one must know, in Islam polygamy is not a compulsion but a provision. A second marriage has to be on valid grounds e.g. if the first wife is unable to bear a child or is permanently sick or any other thoroughly acceptable reason. In the olden days, political policies and treaties often involved such marriages but this culture does not exist at present. Muhammad Marmaduke Pickthall states that in Christianity celebacy is the ideal and monogamy the provision. In Islam, monogamy is the ideal and polygamy the provision.

The Almighty Allah says in the Quraan that if a man cannot do justice between 2, 3 or 4 wives then he should have a monogamous marriage. "Justice" doesn't simply refer to sharing romantic affections. But much more importantly it involves financial provision and responsibility on the part of the husband. According to Islamic rules, co-wives must be housed in separate homes. Thus, if a man has 2 wives and he provides one of them with a luxurious home and the other with a modest accomodation, he is not doing justice in this marriage. 

Though polygamy among Muslims is not allowed in the West, this lack of recognition of polygamy is actually becoming a serious cause for suffering of Muslim women in the Western society. Here's what it means.

There are some married Muslim men living in the West who want to indulge in polygamy for no valid reasons but only to temporarily satisfy their lewd desires. They do not hesitate taking a second wife (in some cases even a third wife) despite the ban. Such men do not go through a court marriage and therefore the marriage is not registered. Neither are there any records of their second or third marriages with the legal authorities. This is because Western legal system does not recognize such a marriage.

Also, in the West, religion and court are two separate entities. These men who indulge in polygamy go through a religious marriage procedure. This means that the marriage is performed by an imam at a mosque .. sometimes along with a few personal friends as witnesses but that too not always. There's no documentary evidence of the marriage and no pre-nuptial agreements concerning financial settlements .. a clause which is mandatory according to the Quraan.

Since the Western law does not recognize such communions, these marriages have no bearing at the courts nor with the legal system. As per Western laws, these relationships are only recognized as a man and woman living together out of wedlock with no written or legal agreements on financial or any other issues.

Thus, if or when the man decides to end the marriage, the poor wife is in a real quandary. She literally has nowhere to turn to. Legally she cannot claim anything from her husband. The clergy (imam) and the husband's few personal friends who might have served as witnesses are never co-operative with the woman. Obviously the best place to seek help from would be the Law of the country she's living in. But she cannot even do that because that Law never recognized her marriage in the first place. Therefore, the West's policy of non-recognition of polygamous marriages is a boon for a lot of men. It serves their purpose perfectly, in that, it does not practically prevent from having a polygamous marriage and also 'exonerates' them from all responsibilities of that marriage.

On the contrary, if the Western legal system did recognize polygamy within the Muslim community and laid down stringent rules concerning written documents of marriage and financial settlements in case of divorce (which is precisely what Islam asks for), such manipulative men who cheat their own Faith would be fixed and left with no other choice but to change into decent and civilized human beings. They wouldn't get involved in polygamous marriages at random, and if they did for a valid cause, they would be sincere and thoughtful toward the other woman they married.
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« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2007, 02:30:05 pm »

A very good read. Thanks sister. Should be forwarded to US and European legal systems for information and reflection.

Personally I don't yet know of anyone involved in a second marriage living in the west but lately I've been hearing similar stories as described in your post every too often. I have been told by many sources that men with such intentions simply go for temporary relationships calling it Misyar or Mutah. That 'temporary' duration could be anything between a week to an open / indefinite period of time, depending upon the convenience of the guy. The important truth that no such thing as "temporary marriage" exists in the Quran and was never practiced by the Prophet is something about which these men don't give a damn.

Secondly, almost all polygamous marriages in the West (for that matter even a lot of them in Muslim countries) are contracted secretly without any consultations or even informing the first wife. In some cases the man's entire family are in the dark about his second marriage. Well let me say, marrying a second or third time secretly without the independent consent of the existing wife or wives is a gross violation of Islam. The Quran clearly says not to keep one's wife making her wonder as though she's surrounded by mystery. Since co-wives must be treated with justice, it automatically means NO secret marriages.
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« Reply #2 on: July 22, 2007, 03:16:20 pm »

Right on! the consequences of present time polygamy on women is just as devastating in the west as in the east because it's just as easy for men to get away with their manipulations in the west as in the east. It's a very shameful misinterpretation indeed by a combination of crooked minds and inconsiderate govts.

Referring to brother Persian's comment of such facts being forwarded to North American and other western legal systems for info and consideration .. well, they already know all about it. They don't wanna recognize it not for the benefit of women (there's no real benefit for women in it anyway) but for their own benefit. Recognizing it would be taking care of the financial needs of these women in case of a divorce if the man cannot pay alimony which they never do. This would mean these women would become a financial liability on the govt and would have to be provided with welfare money till they got a job or remarried. The govts in the west are already loaded with this responsibility. With divorce rates of monogamous marriages already so high, in many cases women with kids are on govt allowance because their ex-husbands are not financially well off and the child support money they're gettin' from them is not enough. In many cases where ex-husbands are themselves without jobs and just bumming around, they're not able to pay any maintenance or child support at all. Such women are entirely dependent on welfare allowance from the govt. Actually this is the reason why in the west the law doesn't allow polygamous marriages even among the mainstream. It's not because the govt cares for the happiness of women, rather it cares only for itself. Allowing polygamous marriages could eventually translate into additional financial burden on the welfare state.

Nowadays since the culture of living together out of wedlock is getting so common in western societies, some rules have recently propped up compensating female partners when the relationship ends, but only if they've stayed together for a certain length of time. I think, in Europe it's a minimal of 3 years. In Canada, it's probably one year. I'm not sure about USA. However, compensations for such common-law wives (as they're called) is not at all as extensive and much less complicated than in the case of a legally divorced woman with or without kids.

In my opinion, the western legal system has a very clear idea and every information of how much Muslim women living there are suffering on account of their husbands' intentional and unlawful manipulations of a provisional system, and the advantages these men are deriving as they aren't controlled by the law in regard to polygamy. Just as this lack of control exonerates men from the responsibilities of polygamous marriages, it also absolves the govts of welfare states from taking the risk of further financial liabilities.

Hence, these western govts are inadvertently and yet advertently using the non-permissive culture of the Muslim society as an excuse for evading their responsibilities. For this reason they're not even offering divorced Muslim women of such polygamous marriages the same kinda compensation as of common-law wives of the mainstream community because they show for granted that there's no such thing as common-law relationships among Muslims and there's no such thing as polygamy in the west. How convenient, isnt' it ?

JazekAllah khair sister zeyn. This is a very important issue that needs to be addressed at least in the west that takes such great pride for being champions of the weaker gender.

As-salaam alaikum. May the Almighty Allah grant some guidance, better sense and zameer to these sneaky men and govts.
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« Reply #3 on: July 22, 2007, 04:11:11 pm »

Sounds very true, rose.  These have been much the points I've always surmised.  Very nicely put and brings to light many hidden facts. 
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« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2013, 09:56:58 am »

 salamem


sensitive issue very well addressed..  Thumbsup

It wouldn't be wrong to say Muslims has raped islam, yes it's true such muslims polygamous marriages never registered in west , this is very awful situations which has been ignored by sharia Activist , In west  it's becomes a Hidden business , polygamous muslims from many countries marry girls in their own countries without telling them that they are already married , neither they tell their first wife here and bring their second wife over them and  such muslims misuse them .  Also some professional muslims those who multiple marriages for lust  sponsor poor, needy,less educated girls & women's from their homelands by promising them permanent residence ,marriage settlements & better life they come along with their ! London dreams , " EU is paradise '' or 'West is Heaven' but most of the jerks cheat them, blackmail them such muslims guys marry them (to satisfy them they are not committing zina and they are their halal wives  ) and keep them under (Halal Zina) unregistered islamic polygamous marriage custody for themselves and also push them for any kind of work NOT EveryOne BUt  some even push them in prostitution forcefully and fear of divorce and deportation make them agree for this ..This figure is getting worse especially in uk no matter how much they deny, many girls and women's lives like that ,they works as hidden prostitute in their own community circles ,yeah that's true ,we are aware of Few Real life stories .Second problem is number of muslim polygamous victims are female refugees also, in both cases some men's do marry them here in local mosque or in the presence of few relatives or friends but as it's all mentioned above in original post correctly according to one official marriage rule they don't offcially registered, NO status . Yes women's do receive welfare benefits according to social welfare laws but what about their dignity ? In this regard i put all blame on imams here , unfortunately our imams are not well educated , also it's very easy to buy imam for nikah and They never bother to ask any man when they bring women's for nikah ! is this your first marriage or second ,or third , even if they know it don't bother them , they do not consider women's , status ,future and security at all ,neither tell them(women's ) their islamic rights , it'ss seriously make me feels that their own hadith sharia law is lies under their feet. ulma and imams should be ashamed of it Angry .This is very bad situation ! These second wives always recognised as single women's and if they have children they live in state of single mothers , if they bother men's they simply pronounce three divorce in one breath , game over , none help them No nikah documents no proof  ,they work, live hard life , in such polygamy cases children's of the 1st wife or second wife suffer psychologically in different ways'just imagine what happen to those kids ,if their role moodle father is polygamous sex sick ? yes lustful polygamy effects are bad anyways,like In many cases if the first wives (registered ) those who are western/european born and well aware of their rights ,If their husband decided to re marry  For no valid  reason, or surprise them with their second marriage they simply prefer divorce but see how it's the  lustful polygamous marriages increasing divorce rate yes this is also a one of big reason of high divorce rate in west , on the other side if the first wife is from man's homeland, or refugees  and not educated well they gets threatened easily and do agree with their sex beast husbands they keep silenced and just become obedient co-wife ,they often suffers from clinical depression and they remain untreated..and later same situation come to secsond wife as well ...how pathetic  Angry
 
The most darkest side of this welfare Fraud of Muslims polygamy under man-made Sharia is !! several victim womens and their children's hates islam  Cry  Our imams and their selfish, egoistic, absurd silence running everything  But they are happy with it , their thinkings are at least muslim birth rate is getting higher in west , we are enough witness of their nikah , it's halal marriage ,women's should understand it's better than adultery , i can't even laugh at this joke ,i wonder if it could really stop adultery and excuse me isn't this halal -zina is worse ?  yes that's what their self made sharia has taught them. Also what's these imams and ulma's keeping in mind is worried !! one day islam will conquer europe ? islam will rise again from west ? Really ?  Allah knows where from this bullshit come ? but I doubt our muslim brother in west, ulma and imams have took it very seriously.?

@ My question to  Imams & ulma's The Pioneers of islam ? Are you trying to find out any solution of these un - registered islamic marriages in west ? can you fix it ?  Do you have any concern What happens to those girls and women's who are married but remained unregistered ? when you guys will accept the truth ? that your ignorance, male dominated muck in your self decorated hadith books , your false sharia advantages,your spreaded misguidance regarding sunnah , your distortion of Quran verses,misinterpretation (wrongly promoted polygamy ! Right of four marriages ) your unfair sharia laws are not just only destroying a women  rather destroying a mother  who brought up a generation it is a irrecoverable damage of Islam . Sad
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