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The rule for wife in separation breastfeeding the newborn (V.65:6) At-Talaq


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Author Topic: The rule for wife in separation breastfeeding the newborn (V.65:6) At-Talaq  (Read 38 times)
Ruhi_Rose
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« on: April 01, 2021, 06:02:57 am »

 

BismEm


  As-Salam Alaykum dear all. 

"And if they should be pregnant, then spend on them until they give birth. And if they breastfeed for you, then give them their payment and confer among yourselves in the acceptable way; but if you are in discord, then there may breastfeed for the father another woman."  65:6  At-Talaq.


A fairly ignorant sister at our zoom meeting the other day was making some trouble, quarreling over a portion of Verse 65:6 quote "and if they breastfeed for you," ....  she wasn't able to understand the expression "for you" thinking that it sounds the wife is being made subservient to the husband, that why should she breastfeed the baby for the sake of the husband?   But I told her she misunderstood totally.  The words "for you" do not imply the woman should breastfeed for the sake of the father.  Rather quite the opposite.  It refers to the father's financial duties toward his wife and child.  During separation the husband is financially responsible to bear the expenses for their children and the unborn child if the wife is expecting.  Thus "for you" confirms to the husband that his separated wife is to breastfeed their baby at birth on his expense.  

Your input would also be very helpful to take up this topic with that sister in our next virtual meeting.

Time to offer my Fajr, Alhumdulilah.


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Heba E. Husseyn
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« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2021, 07:01:04 am »




Walaikum As-Salam dear Sis.   Alhumdulilah I just finished my Fajr too 🙂



  .........
During separation the husband is financially responsible to bear the expenses for their children and the unborn child if the wife is expecting.  Thus "for you" indicates to the husband that his separated wife is to breastfeed their baby at birth on his expenses.


Exactly, that's precisely what the Verse indicates.   In fact, it indicates quite a few facets.  Since it's the woman who can breastfeed the baby, her position is portrayed as very significant.   If the separation sadly ends in a divorce, the woman becomes free of that marriage.  Hence legally it's not incumbent upon her to breastfeed her former husband's child.  Of course no mother normally refuses that, but some insensitive ones might who are more focused on regaining their freedom as single women.  Yet suckling the baby prior to weaning is essential and cannot be ignored.  Thus, the father of the child must bear all expenses and pay his ex-wife for this duty.  Yet if she isn't willing to breastfeed the baby, then the father is entitled to hire a nurse for this purpose .. and of course that nurse will have also have to be paid by the father.   Thus, the allusion is that the mom cannot be forced to breastfeed the baby neither can the dad be stopped from hiring a nurse if the mom unwilling to breastfeed for whatever reasons.  Maududi explains that one of the reasons why the mother may refuse to breastfeed or the father may not want the mother to breastfeed their baby is if the mother demands too high a payment.  However, if hiring a nurse (which is the only alternative) also costs the father just as much, then the biological mother's entitlement to breastfeed the baby supersedes that of the nurse.  Obviously this sounds fair.

Furthermore, the word used for 'payment' in original Arabic of this Verse is "ujurahuna"  (from ujūrahum meaning "their reward) .. and "ujurahuna" basically refers to a woman's bridal dues as also stated in the Quran dictionary of Corpus Quran.  The financial agreement finalized during marriage comes into application at such a time and the husband cannot avoid it.


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Ruhi_Rose
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« Reply #2 on: April 01, 2021, 07:14:06 am »



Very helpful input.  Alhumdulilah.   

Btw, does this Verse also infer that custody of the baby to be given to the father since he will be paying for the maintenance of the child?


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Heba E. Husseyn
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« Reply #3 on: April 01, 2021, 07:19:18 am »



Nope, it doesn't infer that.   And, I don't know of any Verse in the Noble Quran that makes it mandatory for the father to have custody of minor children in case of divorce.  Nowhere does the Quran mention that.  Neither does financing have any bearing on custody.  In case of divorce, custody of minor children is a decision kept open to be decided by families according to their circumstances .. and every family's circumstances and situation differ.   Shariah has of course its own (man-made) rules on this aspect based on ahadith narrations.  But that cannot be taken as mandatory in regard to custody rules.  However, if the baby is being breastfed by its biological mother, apparently the custody has to be with her for the purpose of practical convenience;  and if it is breastfed by a nurse, the custody could be either with the father or mother.  It has to be mutually decided between them. 

  
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« Reply #4 on: April 01, 2021, 07:23:23 am »



Got it Sis.   Big thanks for this articulation.   Alhumdulilah.
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« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2021, 07:24:26 am »



You're welcome Sis .....
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