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Divorce and remarriage between the same couple


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Author Topic: Divorce and remarriage between the same couple  (Read 51 times)
Yasna
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« on: May 23, 2022, 01:58:10 pm »
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Salam.

"When you have divorced women, and they have (nearly) reached their term (iddat), then retain them in kindness or release them in kindness."  2:231 Surah Al Baqrah

In regard to this Verse I have a question.  Iddat period is for 3 months because husband and wife have decided on divorce.  So when Iddat is finished, how can husband have the option of retaining or releasing his wife ?  Doesn't divorce take place automatically and in that case wife cannot remarry the husband unless later she gets married to someone else and again they get divorced genuinely? 

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Heba E. Husseyn
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« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2022, 02:12:04 pm »
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Walaikum As-Salam.

Yes right.  Once divorce is finalized they cannot remarry unless she gets married to someone else and that marriage also ends in a genuine divorce.  It should not be a setup or a ploy by the woman to get married to her first husband.  Such a marriage won't be acceptable in the Sight of Allah.   But this situation comes later only when the divorce is final.   A decision regarding the possibility fo divorce that keeps the wife in Iddat for 3 months is not the final step which unconditionally translates to a divorce after 3 months.  The marriage is still revocable as long as the couple decide to reconcile before the expiry of the 3-month period (Iddat).  If the 3-month period is over and they are still undecided, then divorce is automatically final and they cannot remarry.  This 3-month period is often seen as a stretch of time for the wife to know whether or not she is pregnant.  This is one of the purposes of Iddat.  The other purpose is to give the couple more time to cooly and rationally think / decide whether or not they really want a divorce.  Since re-marriage with the same spouse is very difficult in accordance with Quranic Laws, therefore they need to be very careful / thoughtful before deciding on a final divorce.    V.2:231 actually means the man has to make the decision of either staying married or divorcing within the period of Iddat.  If he decides to stay married, he must show kindness to his wife.  If he decides on a divorce, he must show respect to her.  Even if his decision comes one or two days prior to the expiry of Iddat, it's okay.  But if Iddat is over, then divorce is final and irrevocable.  This aspect is further referred in V.2:228 where Allah Almighty states:

"Women who are divorced shall wait, keeping themselves apart, three (monthly) courses. And it is not lawful for them that they should conceal that which Allah has created in their wombs if they are believers in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands would do better to take them back in that case if they desire a reconciliation."  2:228.

If during the Iddat the wife finds out that she is expecting a baby, she should not hide it.  And in that case it would be nearer to righteousness on the part of the husband if he reconciles and decides to keep the marriage intact.  This clause is stated in the Noble Quran because until the expiry of Iddat, divorce is not final and the couple can decide to re-unite if they wish. 



Related posts:
-  Triple divorce law - a wilful misinterpretation by Shariah
-  Divorce in the Glorious Quran
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Yasna
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« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2022, 02:17:34 pm »
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Thanks a lot.   I get it.    Then what is the difference between the 4-month separation period and the Iddat?  Even after the 4-month separation, couple can reunite, right?
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« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2022, 02:25:13 pm »
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Yes certainly they can.  There are two kinds of separations and one needs to know the difference. 

First, separation by itself (due to estranged relationship) does not affect the validity of marriage regardless of its duration. The marriage still stays intact.  But if the husband lingers on with the separation for too long, leaving the wife in limbo, she has the right to file for divorce or take a legal divorce through the court.

Second, the period of separation fixed for 4 months is only when the husband separates from his wife with an oath or commitment that he will not have physical relations with her.  In that case he has only 4 months to make up his mind.  If at the end of 4 months, the guy still remains indecisive and continues his separation, then the wife is fully entitled to seek divorce through the court.   This aspect is referred to in the Noble Quran in V.2:226.

"For those who swear not to have sexual relations with their wives is a waiting time of four months, but if they return [to normal relations] - then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful."  2:226.

And ALLAH knows best.
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Yasna
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« Reply #4 on: May 23, 2022, 02:29:03 pm »
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Okay, I understand.   and what if during the 4-months separation, the wife decides on first, second or third month to take a divorce? 
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« Reply #5 on: May 23, 2022, 02:35:41 pm »
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That's fine.  Whenever the wife feels she cannot handle the marriage any longer and is sure she wants a divorce, she can file for it.  That goes without saying.  The Verses quoted above are on the assumption that the husband is the initiator of the divorce. 

However, whoever initiates the divorce, they do need to think carefully before deciding upon it because divorce is an irrevocable decision if finalized.
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Yasna
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« Reply #6 on: May 23, 2022, 02:37:36 pm »
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Thank u very much for the details and your time.
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Laleh
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« Reply #7 on: May 24, 2022, 04:33:24 pm »
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Excuse me, I am not too clear on the difference between the two separations of 4 months and 3 months, and how is the triple divorce law connected to it?  I read the above links you provided but could not figure out these points.  Will appreciate your response.
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« Reply #8 on: May 24, 2022, 05:55:08 pm »
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First of all, the triple divorce law as practiced by the so-called Muslims is not connected with  the Quranic Law on divorce at all.  That is precisely what is clarified in one of the links posted in this thread.

Coming to the feedback in regard to your query.

The five relevant Verses of the Noble Quran concerning divorce (talaq) are quoted as follows.  These Verses are from Surah Al-Baqrah.  Please read them carefully and keep them in context with the discussion.

"For those who swear not to have sexual relations with their wives is a waiting time of four months, but if they return [to normal relations] - then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful."  2:226.

“And if they decide on divorce - then indeed, Allah is Hearing and Merciful.”  2:227.

"Women who are divorced shall wait, keeping themselves apart, three (monthly) courses. And it is not lawful for them that they should conceal that which Allah has created in their wombs if they are believers in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands would do better to take them back in that case if they desire a reconciliation."  2:228.

“Divorce must be pronounced twice and then (a woman) must be retained in honour or released in kindness.”   2:229.

“And if he has divorced her [for the third time], then she is not lawful to him afterward until [after] she marries a husband other than him. And if the latter husband divorces her [or dies], there is no blame upon the woman and her former husband for returning to each other if they think that they can keep [within] the limits of Allah.”   2:230.

"When you have divorced women, and they have (nearly) reached their term (iddat), then retain them in kindness or release them in kindness."  2:231.


The separation of 4 months as referred in Verse 2:226 is when a husband separates from his wife with a pledge or an oath that he will not have physical intimacy with his wife.   This is not a divorce, it’s separation but such a pledge (or attitude) from the man makes it a serious issue in the Sight of Allah.  Therefore there is a mandatory time frame for this kind of separation which is 4 months.  During this period the husband needs to decide the matter one way or another cooly and rationally.  If 4 months have passed and he is still dithering and living in separation without conjugal relations with his wife, she has the right to end the marriage by taking a divorce in a court of law.  If, after 4 months of rational thinking in separation, the husband decides to keep his marriage and the wife accepts his decision, then the problem is resolved and they are back together.   But during these 4 months  (or for that matter even before the 4-month separation)  if the husband says he wants a divorce, this must be followed by 3 months of separation/waiting called Iddat (also pronounced Iddah).  This is a period when divorce has been decided but not finalized officially nor has the divorce procedure taken place yet.  Therefore the divorce is revocable at this stage (refer V.2:231).  The purpose of these 3 months of Iddat is to know if the wife is pregnant and also to give both the husband and wife some more time to decide the matter, one way or another.  If, at the end of the period of Iddat, the husband has a change of heart and decides to stay married to his wife, and the wife is also of the same mind, then they can keep their marriage by all means.  There will be no divorce procedures.

Now coming to the so-called "triple divorce" issue, according to the rules established by the Noble Quran, it is impossible for any conscientious and intelligent man to to observe the triple divorce practice which is justified by some sources of Shariah.  The reason is that when the husband says he wants a divorce, he is only allowed to pronounce ‘divorce’ twice at that stage (refer V.2:229).  This must mandatorily and automatically be followed by the 3 months of separation called Iddat.  If the husband still persists on a divorce at the end of the Iddat, then can he pronounce divorce for a third time (refer V.2:230).  That’s when divorce will be final, followed by the divorce procedures in the court and the legal documents on divorce prepared.

Therefore it is easy to discern that Allah Almighty has established the divorce rules in such a way that it is impossible for any man to just stand before his wife one fine day and say “divorce, divorce, divorce” and then acquire a divorce.  Only those who have never read and understood the Quran, or those who do not care to understand and follow the Quran, will go to the extent of misinterpreting it claiming 3 pronunciations of “divorce” is enough for him to end his marriage.  This misinterpretation is manipulated bullshit replete with falsehood that really stinks bad. 

I hope the contents above help you to understand the topic at issue, Insh’Allah.
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Laleh
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« Reply #9 on: May 24, 2022, 06:14:23 pm »
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Yes, thanks.   But what does this verse mean:

“Divorce must be pronounced twice and then (a woman) must be retained in honour or released in kindness.”   2:229.
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« Reply #10 on: May 24, 2022, 06:18:34 pm »
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V.2:229 ushers the start of the period of Iddat.  And V.2:230 points to the time of Iddat.  As I mentioned,  when the husband brings up the issue of divorce, he can pronounce 'divorce' twice at that stage.  The third pronouncement will come after the completion of Iddat, a peiod of 3 months .. if he still wants a divorce.

“Divorce must be pronounced twice and then (a woman) must be retained in honour or released in kindness.”   2:229.

“And if he has divorced her [for the third time], then she is not lawful to him afterward until [after] she marries a husband other than him. And if the latter husband divorces her [or dies], there is no blame upon the woman and her former husband for returning to each other if they think that they can keep [within] the limits of Allah.”   2:230.
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« Reply #11 on: May 24, 2022, 06:20:38 pm »
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Ok, I follow it.   Thankx a lot.
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« Reply #12 on: May 24, 2022, 07:22:48 pm »
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Jazek'Allah khair and thanks Sister Heba and Brother TS for the informative clarifications on a very important topic.
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