interfaith marriage

[Zareena Shaykh]

Salam all.  Can a Muslim man marry a Christian or a Jew if she  is chaste and respects Islam but refuses to convert to Islam?  Referring to verse 5:5 of Surah Maidah, is the non-Muslim woman’s chastity the only condition for the permissibility of such a marriage? 

“And [lawful in marriage are] chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you” (5:5). 

[Heba E. Husseyn]

Walaikum Salam.   Well yes chastity is important but there is also another aspect which is still more important, that is belief in Monotheism (Tawheed).  The reason why Allah didn’t mention that in V.5:5 is because it is taken for granted and already stated in Surah Al-Baqrah.   If that non-Muslim woman does not care for Tawheed or associates a partner with Allah, then a Muslim man must not marry such a woman regardless of her personal character.   It applies to both men and women.  This point has been asserted by The Almighty in Verse 2:221 quote: “And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe.  A believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheist men [to your women] until they believe.  A believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you.” (2:221).   If a Christian or a Jew who have corrupted the original faith by associating partners to Allah (which many Christians and Jews have done particularly in modern times) then they would definitely be in the category of polytheists as stated in V.2:221 even if they see themselves as morally chaste.  Therefore, in conformity with V.2:221, a Muslim must not marry any non-Muslim who does not show any interest toward Islam (the surrender to Allah alone) and the Noble Quran which contains the true and authentic code of life for everyone who has surrendered to Allah alone. 

[Zareena Shaykh]

Yes, understand and thankx.   My next question, there are also many Muslim men and women who are Muslims only by family title not by belief or practice. They don’t know anything of the Quran and they don’t teach their kids anything of Islam.  This is the secular people.   If a practicing Muslim man or woman marries a secular person only with family title or descent of Muslim, in the view of God will it be different from a practicing Muslim marrying  a non-Muslim?

[Ruhi_Rose]

It’s certainly unfortunate for a sincere practicing Muslim to have a secular “Muslim” spouse.  However it might still be better than marrying a non-Muslim (whether secular or non-secular) who knows absolutely nothing about Islam, might even be Islamophobic at heart and will not consider to raise their kids as Muslims.  If the Muslim spouse practices the Islamic Faith or decides to raise the children as Muslims, there could be serious differences between the practicing Muslim and their non-Muslim spouse.  Such a situation is rarer between practicing Muslim and secular Muslim spouses because a secular Muslim is at least aware of the basics of Islamic values and even if they don’t nurture those values themselves, they will likely not stop their practicing Muslim spouse from following their Faith nor prevent them from raising their children as Muslims.  But if one of the spouses is not a Muslim at all, the situation for a practicing Muslim spouse could get a lot more complicated and difficult .. unless that Muslim spouse is a secular Muslim who doesn’t practice Islam and whether or not the kids are brought up as Muslims doesn’t matter to them either.

[Zareena Shaykh]

I have seen some very secular Muslims not different than non-Muslims and they are also hostile to good Muslims as are many non-Muslims. 

[Ruhi_Rose]

That also happens, we agree.   This sort of rigidly secular Muslims usually never decide to marry a practicing Muslim and vice-versa .. unless there’s a big change of temperament with one of the spouses later in life after marriage.   Such marriages often don’t last unless the union needs to be kept intact for compelling reasons and in this case both spouses lead their own separate lives. That’s basically separation, and from the practical viewpoint no different from divorce.

[Heba E. Husseyn]

It needs to be remembered that merely respecting Islam but not wanting to embrace it is a very specific aspect that needs to be understood regarding a future spouse when it comes to marriage for a sincere Muslim.   As far as social, business or neighborly relations are concerned it would not matter to you as a Muslim if a non-Muslim acquaintance, colleague or neighbor does not want to embrace Islam as long as they respect you and are not nasty to you because of your Faith.  But marriage forges a much closer personal relationship where two people have to share their heartfelt values and their families also have to interact similarly.  Therefore it’s highly unlikely for things to work out favorably between spouses if one is a sincere practicing Muslim and the other a non-Muslim with no interest in Islam nor any knowledge or understanding of it.  There is bound to be unpleasantness leading to trouble at some point. 

[Zareena Shaykh]

of course that is right.  what I meant was nowadays with so many Muslims living in Europe, America, Canada, England, many have forgotten or given up their Muslim faith and they don't find anything wrong with it.  This kind of secular Muslims fit better with non-Muslims compared to practicing Muslims.  Then what's the point for a good Muslim to marry this kind of bad Muslims who are same as non-Muslims?

[Ruhi_Rose]

Oh absolutely .. in a scenario like that there would be little or no difference between a so-called Muslim and a non-Muslim.

Our explanation here was based on a slightly different perspective, focusing on those secular Muslims who are perhaps a bit more culture oriented than the category of secular Muslims you had in mind who are totally deviated.