Does loneliness get us closer to Allah?

[Anjum Omar]

Salam and peace to all. 

I have heard a lot of my Muslim brothers and sisters say this.  I haven’t been able to go into the details in my thoughts, but somehow it feels like making sense, though I don’t know how.  Someone at Mv kindly throw some light on this topic in a bit of detail based on Quran values, without references to hadith and similar outside of Quran stories which are usually out of context and I haven’t found them helpful.

[N. Truth Seeker]

Walaykom as Salam and peace. 

Yeah sure InshAllah.  We’re Quran only people.  We don’t utilize hadith for our study.

Answer to your query depends on the person’s temperament. 

If you are talking about a disbeliever (which includes polytheists) or a secularist who have never been oriented with the Truth of the Existence of Allah and the Faith He has revealed to us, then such a person might deviate even more in loneliness by enjoying more time partying, indulging in the atmosphere of an orgy, drinking more, committing zina, experimenting drugs etc. It certainly won’t help to lessen their loneliness and on the slightly longer term their misguidance will deepen still more.. 

But if you are talking about a believer, a Monotheistic believer who is firmly grounded in Faith with a good understanding of it, then it would be a very different story, getting the person closer to Allah.  To a believer, the pain and anxiety of loneliness (for whatever reason it is caused) is capable of awakening their realization and the perception of reality. It clears the path of earthly distractions and allows the believer to focus on Allah for solace without earthly obstructions. It allows the believer to think more clearly and speak to Allah about their problems in life.  Reciting the Noble Quran with understanding at such a time or doing Dhikr will strike your heart faster and you will grasp the depth of its meaning more easily because you are alone with Allah with no one to interrupt you or turn you away.  This enables you to fill up the emptiness you’re experiencing with a feeling of greater accomplishment. 

In this regard I would like to briefly discuss Verses 6 to 9 of Surah Al Muzzamil.

“Indeed, hours of the night is (a time) when impression is more keen and speech more certain.”  73:6
“Indeed, you have by day a chain of business.”  73:7.
“So remember the name of your Rab and devote yourself with a complete devotion –“  73:8.
Rab of the East and the West; there is no deity except Him; so choose Him alone for your defender –“ 73:9.

In the above Verses Allah talks directly to the Prophet (pbuh).  The reference here is to Tahajjud prayer in the midst of the night between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m.  The topic of focus as Allah conveys to the Prophet (pbuh) with emphasis is Verse 73:9 where Allah clearly highlights that He is the One and Only, there is no other diety except Him, we must trust Him alone and worship Him alone as our Caretaker.  In this regard if you take a look at the preceding Verses which I have quoted above from 73:6 to 73:8, Allah instructs the Prophet (pbuh) to reflect on this aspect of V.73:9 by awakening in the middle of the night because the silence and the lonely atmosphere during those late hours of the night help the human mind to focus better on their thoughts compared to the busy daytime hours.

Also, our 5 daily salah carry the concept of taking a few moments of break by stepping away from people and daily life into solitude to spend sometime with the Creator and connect with Him.  Thus silence is important during prayers and for those few minutes we are not supposed to respond to the requirements of daily life e.g. if your cell phone rings or the doorbell rings while you are at prayer, you let go of them until you’ve finished. Unless it’s an emergency, that’s a different matter.  Thus it’s well known how affectively prayer alleviates the sadness of loneliness and isolation.

Last but not least, dealing with loneliness goes hand in hand with sabr or patience.  In unhappy moments of loneliness we offer salah, we read the Noble Quran, we do Dhikr, make dua and we speak to Allah in our own words and own language.  All of this requires a steady hold on sabr. 

“Seek help in patience and prayer; and truly it is hard save for the humble-minded,  Who are certain that they will meet their Rab and that they will return to Him.”   2:45-46  Al Baqrah.

"And surely We shall try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and crops; but give glad tidings to the steadfast,"   2:155  Al Baqrah.


Please note that what I explained about loneliness as having its benefits for believers does not imply that all believers must intentionally indulge in loneliness, ignoring their family and friends.  It’s only in the case when a believer happens to be in a situation where loneliness is unavoidable, contemplation and reflection can often be better, getting the person closer to Allah.

There also believers who may reflect and think deep even if they are not lonely.  However, as a rule solitude does promote better reflection and clearer thoughts for a believer with guidance, taking them closer to Allah.

[Anjum Omar]

MashAllah, JazekAllah khairan brother.  That is a very good evaluation.

May I also ask, can our Muslim community, mosques, Islamic centres and institutes help to lessen stress for other Muslims which is the main cause for loneliness?   I mean by having workshops with suggestions, advice based on Quran principles followed by practical emotional help like keeping in touch on phone and monthly visits especially for older Muslims  whose children are on their own.  Of course young Muslims  also have problems of loneliness mostly in western countries very much.  This work is a part of our deen isn'y it?

[Ruhi_Rose]

Yes it is certainly a part of our deen and our Muslim community centres and institutes should be taking care of this issue.  But they don’t.  As I have observed time and again, they only cater for those who are happy, healthy, resourceful and financially independent   The community events held are generally for periodical get-togethers and cheer within the community centres.  There are many Muslims  who are resourceless and lonely and residing a little far away who cannot make it without transportation.   They are conveniently ignored although arranging transport for occasional events should not be difficult at all. If there’s a will there’s a way.  But the will isn’t there in most cases.

[N. Truth Seeker]

Our Muslim community centres even in Western countries are just not cut out to run the welfare system, not even a basic one, no matter how much they earn in donations.  They often don’t have the best priorities and feel they can spend the surplus on something better.  They only mobilize a bit in the month of Ramadan distributing Ramadan hampers to those of fixed income, the elderly and children of parents living on welfare support. And that's where it all ends.  After Ramadan everything is forgotten and everyone is on their own. Since larger scale community work has never been a priority for them, they have never demanded any allowances for the purpose from the federal governments of their respective countries either despite the fact the Muslim community is rapidly growing all over North America, Europe, UK and Australia .. Alhumdulilah. I wish our people were a little empathetic 😒

[Ruhi_Rose]

Agree with you 💯  brother ..

[Anjum Omar]

That is very sad.  I observed it so I thought I must ask.  Recently few months ago my mom had a fingernail surgery which was very painful.  I got a car last month when I had saved enough from my monthly salary at work for years.  But at that time we didn't have a car. I and my sister had to take our mom on public transport and back.  It was so tough. We tried contacting two of our Muslim centres on email, which are quite big, telling them the situation that we need help with transport.  But no one even responded to our email.  My mom was already in pain because of her condition and surgery, and this negligent attitude of our people who are supposed to be running our masjids and institutes made her more depressed and stressed with a feeling of loneliness.  Doctor had to prescribe some anti depressants.  But if our people were more forthcoming, that would not be necessary.

[Ruhi_Rose]

..  Recently few months ago my mom had a fingernail surgery which was very painful.  I got a car last month when I had saved enough from my monthly salary at work for years.  But at that time we didn't have a car. I and my sister had to take our mom on public transport and back.  It was so tough. We tried contacting two of our Muslim centres on email, which are quite big, telling them the situation that we need help with transport.  But no one even responded to our email.  My mom was already in pain because of her condition and surgery, and this negligent attitude of our people who are supposed to be running our masjids and institutes made her more depressed and stressed with a feeling of loneliness.  Doctor had to prescribe some anti depressants.  But if our people were more forthcoming, that would not be necessary.

Very, very sad and disturbing to learn this.  I know you are right as this is their attitude more often than not.  Ironically these are the people who dramatize their lectures and presentations with bombastic forged ahadith highlighting the importance of community work.  They are just hypocrites.  On the Day of Judgement they will have to answer to Allah for the grief they caused to your mom and the family.  Allah is watching. 

Wish your mom shifa and speedy recovery.  Ameen.

[N. Truth Seeker]

In every lecture they will quote the hadith "The Ummah is like one body. When one part of the body feels pain, the whole body feels pain."  But the practical truth is when one part of the body feels pain, other parts don't give a damn. 

May Allah grant healing to your mom.  Tell her not be feel stressed.  This is their attitude with everyone who needs help.  If you are wealthy and don't need help, giving them a hefty donations 4 times a year, then they'll give their life for you.

[Anjum Omar]

JazekAllah khairan sister and brother for your understanding.  Very comforting to read your words.

[Zainab_M]

Indeed excellent discussion with plenty of truth in every post.  Alhumdulilah. I have also had very similar experience with our community centres as the guest described.   May Allah grant us His guidance and protection.  We are nothing without Allah.

In every lecture they will quote the hadith "The Ummah is like one body. When one part of the body feels pain, the whole body feels pain."  But the practical truth is when one part of the body feels pain, other parts don't give a damn. 

May Allah grant healing to your mom.  Tell her not be feel stressed.  This is their attitude with everyone who needs help.  If you are wealthy and don't need help, giving them a hefty donations 4 times a year, then they'll give their life for you.

😄

Agree 200%.   Absolutely right.

[N. Truth Seeker]

Ameen ....   yes I recall.

You're very, very welcome Sister Zainab.